Oh well, I analysed my life a lot while reading your post. Now, I am not the kind of person that gets angry easily. In fact, in my lab, it was a topic of major discussion when I scolded this new student for arguing more and not reading or listening enough. They were all like, where did the sun rise today.
I was wondering why is that. I think it's exactly because I end up rationalising the series of actions to the context, as you described. And what's the point of having a fit of rage over those inevitable circumstances, I think. Though, I have had my fits of rage. Very rare, but they have been there. And I have to agree in most of the times I was feeling being wronged by the person, being violated or demeaned by that person. And I was holding the person responsible. And in those cases even after superficially forgiving the person, making peace etc, I have always held the grudge. And I have not forgotten a single one of those incidences. Like they are somehow important danger memories to be kept alive and whenever possible I should avenge that. A part of my brain knows how wrong is that, but the other part refuses to forgive and forget. Makes me wonder what is the purpose of anger on other animal species. Does any animal show prolonged grudge? Like does anger have a role to play beyond fight part of fight or flight response in them?
Anyway, after thinking a little more, I realized one more thing. The most frequent kind of rage I display is related to someone trying to push me out of my comfort zone. Not entitlement. But I have this dire need of being in my own mind. And it would irritate the hell out of me if someone tries to poke me out of it and worse if they try to look inside as if I am protecting something inside there. I was wondering what kind of anger that would fit in? What could be the possible psychology and biology behind this?
Anyhow, like always. Loved your post. I learnt something new, as well as indulged in a lot of self-analysis. Thanks once again for sharing this piece.
Have a great day.