Giddiest of ups to all who joined us for @clayboyn 's Coffee and Philosophy. on the much loved MSP Waves and P.A.L Discord Network. The recording of this particular show can be found here: Coffee and Philosophy Ep.71.
It is often thought that suicide is selfish and inconsiderate of those around the individual... this perspective in itself is selfish and inconsiderate of those suffering with depression , anxiety and a great number of other conditions that lead people down this path in the first place.
The first thing we must understand is that piling on more guilt and grief on to someone already suffering is not helping. If we approach the matter with empathy , compassion and understanding we can gain better insight into the causes, giving us the ability to apply prevention's rather than cures.
For those who have suffered, are suffering or will suffer from suicide ideation and thoughts, there are a number of factors which have lead to that very moment in time. The particulars of these factors will vary from person to person, but what can be said for certain is that at that point in time, it feels as though there is no other way in that persons perspective.
So it could be said that the first intervention applied would need to be a shift in perspective, however this can be difficult to achieve on ones own. As the wall close in we can reach a point of learned helplessness which is crippling to mental and physical processes.
So if its so hard to tackle this issue on our own then why dont we get help? The harsh reality of the situation is that there is a negative stigma surrounding mental health issues. Some of these may be unfounded thoughts , such as being committed in an asylum, but more realistically we need to understand that a good majority of people dismiss mental health issues (even medical professionals) as "being dramatic", "seeking attention".
Further, some will compare the individuals situation to others saying things like "its not that bad", "it could be worse", etc. This behavior only further isolates people who feel they are alone, it trains us to keep these things to ourselves and not "burden others".
Seeking help is a test of bravery in itself, and when in a time of uncertainty, depression , etc. it can be difficult to muster the strength and will of mind and body to attain what is needed. An apt analogy may be expecting someone involved in a serious car accident and unconscious to call emergency services because they 'clearly need help'.
When we do get help, we find that we have quite a bit of work to do cleaning up self talk, personal thoughts, not comparing ourselves and our journey in life with the journey of others, etc. However, one of the more liberating exercises is 'Taking Stock' of ones life, what we are doing, where we are going and much more.
Often we find that we are living our lives to suit the needs of others, be it partners, family, friends, work, societal/cultural norms, religion, government, or any other construct of interaction we may be experiencing in life.
Feeling the need to conform to the expectation/needs of others can mean we bury our wants and desires away, failing to comply with the norms can make us feel inadequate... the list goes on.
Once we realize that these are external forces that are forcing their autonomy upon us, that they are not our wants and needs, but what we are expected to want and need, the picture becomes considerably more clear... much of the weight we carry is not ours.
Identifying what we really want from life and finding ways too gravitate towards it is a key factor in attaining happiness for ourselves, even if it means going against the grain , losing friends and family. This life is ours to do with as we pleas and is far too short to be making ourselves miserable of the sake of others.
You Have No Power Over Me
While its easy enough to blame the people in our lives (and ourselves) for this dynamic, but the truth is that this is "misery by design". There are a number of psychological constructs which indicate the ease by which us humans are guided and manipulated, millions of dollars have been spent on figuring out where we are best kept both mentally and physically for optimal monetary gain.
If we have what we want, need, desire, if we are too happy... well, we dont buy, we dont consume, we dont require services, assistance. It is by design we are kept in a state of wanting/needing more, being unhappy. It is beneficial to the powers that be that we remain low in Maslows hierarchy of needs, for instance.... because its profitable.
We cover this and much more in the weekly Coffee and Philosophy show, the recording of which can be found at Coffee and Philosophy Ep.71.
If these kinds of topics and discussion are of interest I strongly recommend checking the schedule for Coffee and Philosophy and joining us in the live chat on the P.A.L Discord, so you can interact with us as well as the audience and help guide the conversation.