RE: Flirt Forgone
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As we stare at our screens (full disclosure: I have never owned a smartphone) more and more there are less and less opportunities to have genuine interactions so it goes without saying there would be less "flirting." In my past, bars were never places (at least for me) of meeting a new guy. I lived in a college town for 19 years, so all the "townies" knew each other (and I became one of them for a time) and so when I did go to a bar in the summer, I could find out what kind of person talked to me the night before. (Luckily, I did not spend a lot of time in bars.)
To attract a genuine person, one must first become genuine themselves. Or maybe you just become easier at weeding out the liars because it becomes more obvious over time.
In high school, we could always pick out the "nerds" because they couldn't interact well with others. They were smart but they couldn't socialize well. Nowadays, it's not like instant access to information has made everyone smart or nerds, but it's the normalization of anti-social behaviors that I think is the downfall of popular culture. We are being entertained to death.
Of course, I think this all starts at the home. I could spend 5 minutes with a child and have a pretty good idea of their home life. Can that be "fixed" later in adulthood? Children do not need a smartphone, they need two parents interacting and loving them. Do children need to watch programming on t.v. or their screen of choice? No, they don't need to watch "pop culture" of which I believe is harmful in many ways. Children need to outside running, playing, and learning how to socialize with all ages within their communities. They need to see what healthy people do: What hobbies, activities, books, and friends that they love.
So it starts with us, really. Flirting was fun when I was young. But we really need to hunker down and deal with the mess that, I believe, too much screen time has given us. We all have a finite amount of time on this beautiful planet. My goal over the decades has been to make where I live better than how I found it. Be it big or small goals, I do feel like I achieve that goal. I do wish that more would look around and see what needs to be done and then do it. Then we could have genuine interactions while helping our community and the people in it. It might not always lead to flirting, but hopefully its a start towards more genuine interactions.
There can't be many of you left!
Maybe not to go home with - but for many, this is the place of first contact, a change of number. It could be a party with friends, on the bus, at the gym, walking around the park - "first contact" still happened without a swipe based on a profile picture and a set of interview questions.
Yes. THis is the thing where people feel that they are "choosing" a lifestyle where they are alone, but is it actually their choice, or their conditioning?
I think there is more to it than fun, as it is practicing a set of skills that build the ability to connect with people and importantly in my opinion, understand when someoneis genuine or not. There are so many abilities clustered into this kind of interaction that help us through life. It is not just about "picking up", it is about building valuable relationships and knowing, when it may be harmful. "kids today" seem very, very bad at reading people and then we wonder how they get into such bad situations.
I suppose it is all how you define "flirting." To me there is an objective. One does not flirt with friends, if they are being a true friend. To me, flirting was like an invitation: I like you. Let's spend more time together and see how that goes. I can have a laugh and enjoy an evening out without it considered flirting. But that is my understanding of the word. :-)
And I won't be getting a smart phone, if I can help it. I am at the age where it might be okay to get a "granny" flip phone that just calls and texts. That's all I need, and if I didn't live in the country I wouldn't even bother.
But the skills learned in that context aren't flirt dependent, they are all relationship applicable. It is just a testing and practice ground with additional incentive.
I wouldn't get a smartphone if I could avoid it either :)