We all want to be successful, no doubt. Matter of fact, we must have certain things that motivate us to be successful in life. It's fallacy to say or think otherwise. Our motivation could either come from our passion, purpose, mentor, role model, goal, dream or phobia. “What's my motivation to be successful?“ You asked?
Well, as odd as it may sound, FAILURE IS MY MOTIVATION TO BE SUCCESSFUL.
And for clarification, when I say “failure” I don't mean the fear of failure but just the concept of failure itself. There's a difference, just keep reading you'll get my point soon 😊.
I used to be extremely scared of failing, so initially this phobia was what drove me to success in my academics. I would often work my ass off in school or at home; reading my eyeballs out and depriving myself of rest and food. “I can't afford to lose my first position.” I chanted these words to myself all the time. But that mindset wasn't healthy for me neither is it healthy for anyone else. I was only petrified and insecure. I saw failure as a plaguing flaw and I hated repeating stuff so I would always try too hard not to fail.
We all know that failure doesn't kill a man so what then causes this phobia for failure?
The answer is pride (failure hurts the ego) or deep regard for other people's opinion and judgement. For me it was both. And I've now come to the realization that I wasn't actually working hard to achieve success for myself but only working hard to avoid failure so as to appease my pride and the people who looked up to me.
I didn't care much about success, I only cared about failure. I thought I could avoid failure and indeed I did (only for a while); back then I was a straight-A student, winning school competitions and all. Damn! I was super proud. But at some point, obsessing over “avoiding failure” eventually led me to the failure. It kept reoccurring, and everytime it happened, I'd completely lose my morale and enthusiasm, I'd become depressed, I'd cry so much and begin to doubt my self worth. It would even take ages to get back on my feet again. So basically, it affected my mental health.
Fortunately, after much self reformation, my thinking reprogrammed, I accepted failure not as a plague but as a push. And I began to actually strive for success in everything I did, not to impress anyone but for my own good.
My failures made me stronger and it became my motivation. How? First of all, I started to aim my goals higher and lower my expectations (it reduced the severity of disappointments). Also, I trained myself to be humble (accepting that I'm not perfect) and whenever I failed, instead of sulking and hating myself, I'd pick up one or two lessons from it, figure out the problem and provide a solution. Guess what? It really helped me and with time, I was able to overcome my phobia.
Yes! It's not easy at all. Failure and disappointment will keep reoccurring but how do I cope with it? I ease off by letting the tears fall whenever they want and after wetting my pillow, I wipe my eyes, get up and try again. This time with fresh enthusiasm. It became a cycle and it works for me all the time.
I learned that it's okay to fail, it's okay to feel bad, it's okay to return back to square one, it's okay to repeat stuff but what isn't okay is letting the fear of failure eat my heart out. So dear reader, never give up or loose hope, faith and enthusiasm whenever you fail. By doing so, you'll only incur a major loss.
Truman Capote once said; “Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.“
To me, this quote means that failure is a vitality for success, there is simply no success without failure. Failure has the power to motivate us to fix our mistakes, to keep going and eventually become better. There'll always be failure but there'll always be success too.
In conclusion, failure may not be a good thing but it certainly isn't a bad thing either, it's not the end neither is it a flaw and just like me; it can also be your motivation to be successful. Whether it's your own failures or the failures of other people, you can always learn something from it and utilize it in your strive for success.
P.S. This post is in response to the @hive-learners weekly posting topics for week eighteen, edition two on the topic titled “MOTIVATION”.
THANKS FOR READING! ❤️