People didn't used to need constant attention to feel appreciated like they do now
How did we get here 😵💫
Long gone are the days of being unable to contact a friend or loved one. Used to be nobody had cell phones, people still wrote letters, and phone calls were rare. The main reason is that people would rely on their house phones for the most part, which means if they were not home nobody could contact them. If you've never experienced that feeling, then I consider you unlucky.
My childhood was filled with memories like this. I would go knock on other kids' front doors when I wanted to play outside. I didn't text them or talk to them online in voice chat on a video game. I sometimes would waste my time walking to the other end of the neighborhood just to find out that my friend wasn't even home.
While my brother and I were outside playing, my mom never called us and told us it was time to come home for dinner. Instead, she would walk out on our front porch and scream our names from the top of her lungs. There were times that we would pretend not to hear just so we could hang with our buddies just a bit longer. She of course knew that we could hear her loud and clear.
I didn't get my first cellphone until 7th or 8th grade. It was a Motorola Razor and at the time I thought it was one of the coolest cell phones. It didn't do much besides make calls. I didn't even have the ability to text at the time since our monthly plan didn't include that. I had that same phone for a few years and it was mainly so I could call my parents in case of an emergency. That is when the reliance started and the safety blanket that is now our smartphones began to slowly shroud humanity.
By 2007 I obtained the very first iPhone. This was revolutionary and truly made me feel like I was some futuristic dude way ahead of all of my classmates. I was the first person at my school to get an iPhone. Back then we didn't even have an App Store and the Edge cell service was extremely slow. Did you know that originally you could only get an iPhone if you had AT&T as your provider?
I was obsessed with my iPhone right away. Being able to watch movies while at school was amazing. The touchscreen keyboard was odd at first, but quickly became something I was very accustomed to. 15+ years later, things have changed quite a bit with technology. Our phones can do basically anything and they are hard to live without.
Having friendships or relationships in 2023 is very difficult actually. Most people feel like if you aren't talking to them daily, then there must be something wrong. This often makes me feel smothered and the joy I used to find in getting to see somebody eventually turns into dread. Doing the same thing every single day gets old. If you take a few days or even a week off from it, all of a sudden it's enjoyable again.
I miss being able to not see somebody for a long time and then when I do nothing has changed. It can happen sometimes, but quite often now you can feel a bit of a grudge if you pay close attention as I do.
When school let out for the summer, I would often go 3-4 months without talking to some of my friends. It was totally normal to me and I didn't feel the need to call them as I knew once school started back up I'd be friends with them just like the year prior.
These days if you disappear for a quarter of a year, you are basically dead to the person that isn't getting to see you. It's too easy to meet somebody else online who is willing to give you that attention you are craving. Meanwhile, the person that really cares about you and has been there for you in the past is dust in the wind.
I don't know, this is just something that I think about quite often. People born after 2000 have no idea what it is like to live without a smartphone. These past situations that I describe probably sound like complete bullshit to the younger generations. If we go back to before the early 90s when I was born, the gap widens even more.
I'm not sure if the world would be better without smartphones, because they do provide us with so much. I just wish that people would learn to control the temptation of erasing somebody that they love just because they aren't around for a while. It shouldn't be awkward talking to somebody for the first time in months. At least not if you are really friends with them.
What about you? What do you think about this subject? Do you have any distinct memories from earlier in your life that remind you what it was like to live without smartphones, or even just regular cell phones? If you're 30 or older, then you surely know what I'm talking about.
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After reading your story, i can easily resemble it to mind. All the things you have talked about have had happen in my life too. We had a old phone which mom and dad use to contact with our relatives as mobile phone was not easily available at that time. I also had Motorola in my early age. It was one of my early phone.
Don't even get me started on how phonebooks used to be a thing 🤓
Just like when there were no mobile phones, people used to spend more time with each other . It was so much fun for people to sit together and spend a time pass with each other. Then all the people were waiting for each other and the feeling of each other was also high within them . As time went on, the distances became longer instead of shorter. Now guys are stuck on facebook instagram and social media apps instead of talking to each other even sitting together . I myself got my first mobile in 9th class . And my first mobile phone was Nokia 1200 And i used the mobile only when going out. You have rightly said that in today's era, if you don't talk to your loved ones daily or don't keep in touch with them, then they think that there must be some problem either you are busy or something else. Don't want to do it. While technology has made many things easier, some problems have also arisen .
You are so right. All of the people I used to hangout with I only see online now. It's quite sad.
Of course, now we can only see them online, now the relationships are no longer like before, people prefer to voicemail instead of meeting.
Yeah, man, I didn't have a phone before and I didn't see my friends for a long time and then we saw each other and everything was like the last time we saw each other. In fact, because we didn't see each other for a long time, we had a lot to tell each other. Now it's exactly like you said, when you don't talk to someone for a day, they think there is a problem. I don't know why this is happening but I hope it will be solved soon because we all have things going on.
This is the most important part to me. If you are communicating with someone 24/7, it’s going to get boring quickly. Taking time off is essential to build up conversation so it never gets old.
I understand you perfectly, man. And I can say that I lived the same. I don't know how old you are but I am 35 and I lived this phase of life free of cell phones and social networks, where childhood was real and physical. And it is not a matter of fact about having technology involved or not (I had my Super Nintendo and spent hours playing with my friends), but of this connectivity and the fugacity of the connections, of the relationships. This is what really bothers me the most, at the same time that people are constantly eager to expose themselves to be seen and noticed, they don't create bonds (very, very rare to create from scratch based on internet). I wonder if the age I am in is the factor that makes it so difficult to make friendships, to meet real people, to experience the world itself with others, or if it is a general problem that plagues our society. But I think it is the second option, because I see many complaining about it, many commenting about it, it is as if we were stuck in this subtle dimensional plot that blinds us from the real world, everyone is here side by side but we no longer know how to live a long day (who can say weeks) without the cell phone in hand, the anxiety of the device having to be seen all the time... It is practically a game when you go to a restaurant or a cafeteria or any place and see how many people at the tables are talking to each other and how many have their cell phones in their hands...
I'm 30, so we grew up around the same time. Technology is great in a lot of ways, but it has certainly disrupted meaningful connections with other human beings.
Those days were much better as one. Although the communication system was laid out but friends could have a good chat together but the current smartphone has taken it away. However, the times of landphones of that time were good.
There is good and bad with everything.
I think about this a lot also. I think it's just a matter of time until people stop being slaves to their phones. They track us, take away our privacy, most people don't want to share every detail of their life with the world (that one might be debatable these days), they also steal our attention with everybody focused on their phone and not real life interaction.
I've been leaving my phone at home, more and more lately. I just feel better without it. Got rid of most of my social apps with the exception of eCency. When I do go out, I'm much more in the moment without it.
I think in the old days, people were much more present and in the moment. That's something mobile phone culture has taken from us.
We always hung out at the park as kids. That was like our social app. We had two parks on different sides of town. If you were looking for something to do, just walk up to one of them and there would be about 30 or 40 kids hanging out, drinking beer, smoking weed, blasting music out of a car radio, playing hacky sack, and throwing around a frisbee. Good times, and I really feel bad that most people growing up these days will never experience that.
It's not just our phones that our alienating us. It's a change in culture as well. I mean try to do what I just mentioned above now, and you're probably breaking about ten different laws. Back then it was just normal.
There are benefits too. It's nice to be able to make a few calls and find out exactly where everybody is hanging out. Or with a quick post to a message board or social media app start a party.
IDK, I think things were better before though. As convenient as phones are, I think they've taken more away from us, than the convenience they give us.
Slaves to their phone I feel is often rooted to being a slave to a job or just a general lack of hobbies. People become so bored that they allow themselves the opportunity to become addicted to the dopamine hits that smartphones and social media provide.
I’ll be honest, I still go everywhere without my phone. Anytime I’m with other people though, it never comes out because I cherish any moment of actually interacting irl since it doesn’t happen that often anymore.
We were lucky to have the childhood that we did. So many great memories that I know most kids today are not able to make.
I’m torn as to which was better. I’m sure if I could go back in time, eventually I’d be wishing to go forward once again. Always wanting the things that I do not have. Typical human behavior.
A great policy to have. I tend to be the same way. When I'm out with company or entertaining guests, the phone tends to stay in my pocket. Occasional BTC price check, but a trader has to trade 🤣
Who knows, we might end up bored out of our minds if we went back. 🤣 We certainly change with the times.
I have to have my phone because it’s also my camera and I take pictures of stuff all of the time. I’m okay with continuing forward instead of going backward.
Yes I agree with you and you all must have noticed another thing since mobile phones came our friendship is not the same as it used to be in childhood. I still remember as a child when we had to meet a friend and we didn't have mobile phones, we used to go to his house and knock on his door and when his mother or his father would come out with anger and tell us that he is not at home, he would call from behind that I am at home, wait I will come in a while. That time was great, what have you reminded me....
I would always hope that my friends' parent wouldn't be the one to answer the door. Summertime was the best because everyone's mom and dad were usually gone working all day long.
Reading this post made me realize how things have changed when it comes to communication. It is surely easy and fast to communicate these days. Smartphones are great help for us, we should just be disciplined when using it. Especially the kids, most of them are attached with their smartphones. They are loosing their chance to be creative and explore other things because they are focused on their gadgets.
It must be incredibly difficult as a modern parent to choose when is the proper time to give technology for children. I am so sad when I see a 3 year old on an iPad while the family is out at dinner. If it's going to be like that, you're probably better off just not having a kid in the first place.
I sure know what u mean. I remember when I got all modern and got my first pager!
it was much cooler tho.. 'ice' color with a gold chain on it.
but yea.. the good ole days..
The best friends are NOT the one who always chat and party and are there with u in good times, but the ones who visit u in the hospital and are there for u in tough times..
I never had a pager. The first touch screen I used was. Palm pilot, my god did that thing suck.
You’re right so right about the friends part.
😉
😆
I remember the good old golden days!! Truth be told we saw alot more of each other than we do now, the simple fact of going over just to get information or ask something led to an exchange in conversations and yeah... Nowadays you can do a quick whatsapp and be done with it.. So anti personal if that's the right word.
The house phone, laughs that was amazing times and even more so if you had two house phones you can then listen in on the other conversations 😂😂👂
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Yes I totally can admit to listening in on a few phone calls back in the day. Had to be careful not to hang up before the other person thought or else they’d hear. No mute button either, so had to breathe silently and be careful not to laugh.
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I always have a problem with people who think that way. Why will a reasonable person think that there is something wrong between the two of us because I am not checking on him daily. That is wrong.
Everyone is busy and we mostly do not have enough time for ourselves not to talk of checking on someone. I think a lot of us need to learn about this.
There's a lot of odd behavior these days.
Times have really changed.
I remember very well when cell phones didn't exist; I called from the phone booth and wrote letters.
I remember that during the summer with school friends we saw little or nothing because I moved to the sea for three months but it was normal, when we saw each other again it was like having left the day before.
I confess that with my closest friends we have held this trait, we don't feel for weeks, with some for years and then when we see each other again it's like saying goodbye the day before; i love this thing!
I knew there would be many people that remember this old way of living.