RE: Psychology Addict # 59 | Discussing Modern Caregiving.

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I think that research on this sort of thing is highly beneficial to society. The results arent really all that intuitive for a lot of people. In a lot of cases parents of previous generations over disciplined their kids and as a result the next generation now doesnt discipline their kids at all, thinking that this is better. But both have negative consequences in different ways, so balance becomes extremely important as you pointed out. I think you did a good job showing that praising a child for their characteristics (I.e. cleverness, looks...etc) rather then their behavior (I.e. working hard...etc) isnt beneficial. The subtle difference between saying "you're clever" vs "you must have worked hard" teaches the child that their behavior effects the outcome of their life. People cant change a characteristic but can change a behavior. They can do more of a good behavior and less of a not so good one. That was a really great article on an interesting subject. Well done!

I watched a video on an interview with a researcher and author who discusses his research on how this scenario and similar ones play out in the long run. I found it so interesting and have been meaning to read his book. I'll post the video in case you are interested but don't feel obligated to watch it. I know that it can be a pain in the ass when people give you a video to watch or article to read - "oh great more work for me to do..." lololol but if you're interested in more research on the subject its there and the interview is really good in my opinion. The interviewee is author of the book "the coddling of the American mind." I haven't read it yet but plan to eventually.
https://www.tvo.org/video/home-of-the-anxious-and-the-fragile

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Oh my goodness @leaky20 I love ALL THINGS Jonathan Haidt 😍 Of course I am going to watch that video.

I know that it can be a pain in the ass when people give you a video to watch or article to read - "oh great more work for me to do..." lololol

So true!! Can you please tell this to my mother and half of my friends :D? BUT, you have proved to be very good at recommending worth-watching material. Please accept this star @leaky20 : ✨ I only really pay attention to suggestions coming from star holders :P

I agree with you about the importance and relevance of Dweck & Mueller's study. Subtle changes in the upbringing of a child that can do so much for them. The points you made about changing behavious vs. characteristics are spot on. And I think that are actually pretty empowering both for the parent and the child! :)

Have a nice rest of the day @leaky20
All the best to you two and the doggies.

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I'm a star holder now yaaaasssss!!! I've made it!! Lol

If you do watch it (again, no rush and no obligation) let me know what you thought of it.
Take care

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@leaky20, thank you very much for suggesting that video. It's excellent! It reinforced so many of the thoughts and notions I have had in mind for quite a while now, which can all be summed up in Haidt's following quote:

We're going to smooth the path, we're going to prepare the path for you. Not you for the path of life. That's a good way to damage them for life."

Being Haidt, I had high expectations for the video. And, of course, they were totally met! :)

Thank you so very much @leaky20, once again.
I wish you guys a wonderful week ahead!

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