Go online or watch the news today for any extended period of time and it won't take long before you're confronted with one argument or another. Abortion, immigration, gun rights, climate change, there is plenty to disagree on.

One thing many of us have in common however, is how we qualify love and what makes us feel loved.

Researchers from Penn State previously sought to investigate this topic and they discovered that its small, non-romantic gestures which seem to matter the most to most of us.

They wanted to find out if the answers might be more personalized, tailored to the individual specifically when it comes to how we feel loved on a daily basis. But they were surprised to see that people can largely agree on the top scenarios that make them feel loved, such as hugging a child or showing compassion to another etc. It can be something very simple and doesn't have to be any over-the-top, romantic sort of gesture to get someone else to feel loved.

Researchers discovered that controlling behaviors were seen as the least loving, and whether or not an individual feels loved, they insist, is going to be detrimental to their overall well-being.

The study involved more than 400 participants who answered a questionnaire that listed 60 different scenarios and they were required to rate whether or not someone might feel loved in those scenarios. They found many instances where there was widespread agreement with participants.

Actions Speak Louder

"We found that behavioral actions -- rather than purely verbal expressions -- triggered more consensus as indicators of love. For example, more people agreed that a child snuggling with them was more loving than someone simply saying, 'I love you,' - S. Heshmati

Overwhelmingly, people agreed that loving actions were more authentic than simply saying the words. And they also showed a great deal of agreement over what might not make someone feel loved, including controlling actions, being possessive etc. These actions are not seen as loving to most.

How one measures love is different from one person to the next, but there are still many similarities that millions of us share when it comes to how we feel appreciated by others, or how we might show them that we appreciate them.

pics:
pixabay