Exposing The Hidden Truth Of The Online Dating Game

" It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you. "
– The Fault In Our Stars

How Online Dating Is Devaluing The Experience Of Authentic Love

Where technology and love meet, the commodification of human beings waves hello. The online dating revolution has reinforced our skewed perceptions of what makes for a lasting partnership. In fact, the majority of dating sites are built on the premise that similarities is the primal factor that influences the prospect of a potential compatibility. In other words, the algorithms of the online dating scene are made so that you are “matched” with people who share the same interests as yours.

Make no mistake, I am not claiming here that it’s not beneficial to share similar views and interests with a potential partner, to the contrary I believe it holds some value. However, it shouldn’t represent the entirety of what one should look for upon choosing a life partner. Similitudes doesn't equate compatibility. The truth is that it’s not similitudes in tastes and interests that makes for a lasting relationship, but it is rather our ways of working around our differences that is a determining factor for preserving a partnership.

I have chosen to utilize the word “game” in the title of this post to emphasize the idea that online dating may be just that. Monetizing relationships is what I would call the threshold of insanity. Ironically, it has cheapened the fuck out of human relationships. Love isn’t a commodity to be bought. Partner shopping shouldn’t be as normalized as it currently is.

Behind fake pretty smiles and 100 words descriptions filled with lies, rests a business model that has one goal in mind: profit. All the Tinders and Plenty of Fishes of this world will not run out of business anytime soon for a very simple reason: (or perhaps two) loneliness epidemic combined with a model that is psychologically addictive, and that offers the illusion of an enticing fantasy. If these apps were to sell us the winning formula for finding and keeping love, they’d run out of business tomorrow.

Fun (or perhaps odd) fact: the founders of several of the most used dating apps worldwide were by no means dating experts or even interested by the matter in the first place. Maybe that could explain why their plan worked out so well. Swiping fatigue is exhausting af, but the illusionary promise of a reward is enough to keep us hooked. What’s more is that these platforms scream superficiality. Income and beauty aren’t predictors of long-term love. Empathy and emotional abilities are, but when your brain is hooked on the sheer power of lust, overlooking such crucial attributes to look for in someone is all too easy.