Signs of an Abusive Relationship

It’s not always obvious that you’re in an abusive relationship. This article flags some of the key signs to look for. It’s common for someone who is being abused to believe that it’s their own fault and that they somehow ‘deserve’ the abuse. It’s important to know that you’re never to blame for the way an abusive person treats you.1

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Check your boundaries and know what’s healthy and what’s not.
When you have clear boundaries, you’re more likely to be able to recognise if someone is abusing you. Check your boundaries regularly, so you know what’s healthy for you and what’s not. This could include decisions about your relationship, including when you want to end it, how you want to spend your time or how you want to spend your money. If you’re in an abusive relationship, your abusive partner may cross these boundaries. It’s important to know that being in an abusive relationship can impact how you view your own boundaries. For example, you may think that what is happening to you is normal or you may feel like you have to put up with the abuse because you’ve been told you deserve it. It’s important to take time to reflect on your situation and remind yourself that what’s happening isn’t normal and you deserve better.

You feel constantly insulted or humiliated.
It’s important to remember that no-one has the right to constantly insult or humiliate you. An abuser who constantly insults or humiliates you may also be controlling you by limiting your self-confidence and self-esteem. Your abuser may do this as a way to get a reaction out of you, so they can feel more powerful or in control of the situation. You may also be insulted or humiliated if you’re in a romantic relationship with someone who is narcissistic or has a personality disorder. If you’re being constantly insulted or humiliated, it could be a sign that you’re in an abusive relationship. Remember that it’s not your fault and that you deserve better.

You’re constantly afraid of your partner.
If you’re constantly afraid of your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in an abusive relationship. Some abusive partners will use threats to keep you in a relationship, while others will use physical violence. You may be afraid of what your partner will do if you try to leave the relationship or if you don’t do what they want. You may be afraid of what your partner will do to your property or to your pets. If you’re constantly afraid of your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in an abusive relationship. Remember that it’s not your fault and that you deserve better. Some abusive partners will use threats to keep you in a relationship, while others will use physical violence.

You can’t do anything right in your abuser’s eyes.
If you feel like you can’t do anything right in your abuser’s eyes, it could be a sign that you’re in an abusive relationship. An abuser might constantly criticise you for the way you do things, the decisions you make or for who you are as a person. They might do this in public or in private. An abuser might also try to make you feel responsible for their feelings or actions. For example, they might blame you for the fact that they’re angry with you. It’s important to remember that you can’t make another person feel or act a certain way. An abusive partner will constantly make you feel like you’re wrong and that you’re to blame for their feelings and actions. It’s a sign that you’re in an abusive relationship.

Your partner has made it clear that you have no freedom.
An abuser might make it clear that you have no freedom. This could include controlling who you can see or talk with, when you can leave the house or what you can do with your time or money. You may be restricted from seeing family or friends or taking part in hobbies. An abuser might also try to control what you wear or what you do online. If your partner has made it clear that you have no freedom, it’s a sign that you’re in an abusive relationship. Remember that it’s not your fault and that you deserve better.

You have physical injuries as a result of the abuse.
Physical abuse is a sign that you’re in an abusive relationship. This could include hitting, slapping, punching, biting, kicking, pushing, strangling or using a weapon against you. You may have had an accident, but your partner blames you for it. You may also have unexplained injuries, including bruises or broken bones. You may be afraid to go to the doctor or to tell anyone about the abuse because you’re afraid. If you have physical injuries as a result of the abuse, it’s a sign that you’re in an abusive relationship. Remember that it’s not your fault and that you deserve better.

Conclusion
If you’ve checked off some or all of these signs, it doesn’t mean that you’re in an abusive relationship. However, it’s important to be aware of the warning signs and know that you deserve better. If you think you’re in an abusive relationship, it’s important to speak up. You can do this by making a safety plan. Make sure you know what help is available to you, so you can get out of the abusive relationship. Remember that you deserve better and that there is help available.

https://positivepsychology.com/great-self-care-setting-healthy-boundaries/

https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00495/full

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/07/24/744465884/how-to-help-your-anxious-partner-and-yourself