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RE: The Psychology of Guilt

in StemSocial2 months ago

It's amazing how one word, 'letters' leads to another, 'guilt', then moves on to, 'shame', forwarded to, ' weight gain', 'depression', all the way to OCD.

You did thorough research on this, and it's admirable. You may not have felt any iota of guilt over your dad, because he probably didn't offer you anything other than what was written in the letter.

I think we can only feel guilty over our actions toward someone if we owe them anything. Like your father, if he had been an integral part of your life, supporting, providing, and making sure you had a comfortable or anything close to a comfortable life.

But since there was no sacrifice on his part on your behalf, your emotions write it off.

I guess this is why most people would try as much as they can to not be in people's debt or favor. And that's because they would always be obliged to return them one way or the other.

For this discussion, one would only feel guilty over severing such a relationship because the other party had done them a favor once, and instead of returning with good deeds, they did them wrong.

I don't know if I am making any sense.

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Hello @loveah,

It's so nice of you to stop by and read my blog.

Of course you make sense. You are referring to duty, I believe, to an obligation that comes because of a sense of duty. But if there has been a complete separation, a denial of association and duty on one side, then the other is free. When my father freed himself from obligation, he freed me.

instead of returning with good deeds, they did them wrong.

Yes, exactly. He disavowed his role as father. In doing that, he freed me from any responsibility I might have had as a daughter.

Thank you very much for that thoughtful comment. It is much appreciated.