RE: Overheard On A Salt Marsh

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I love this @shanibeer

It is hard to pin down for me but there are technical things such as the ethereal and terrible beauty of your some of your descriptive narrative:

But then they heard the clock chime, saw the sun’s rays glance off the stone, felt their blood chill, their bones melt, their sinews tighten and snap, the energy of a million atoms and protons pulsating in sinusoid waves, disappearing into the ether, the batons scattered firewood left on the ground.

and this (passage I've highlighted below), as a child of the sea and completely enraptured with diving 'free' or 'scuba', this descriptive passage left me tasting the salt marsh. We have a few near to where I live on the river Dee side of the Wirral peninsula. Rarely a descriptive narrative captures place so perfectly as yours did!

At last, they came to the salt marsh, the briny margin between land and sea, inhabited by sea birds and tiny nightmare monsters, sea mouse and lugworm, great tufts of seagrass, bleached white spiny sea kale, tumbles of sea lavender, dried husks of sea thrift.

I love the way you mingle fantasy with the post apocalyptic in such a mysterious way. I gathered if I'm reading it right that the main character is a ghost? Or maybe the stone has given her power outside of time. Either way it is a wonderful and haunting tale, completely different to the way i took it with my continuation today which is lovely to see. You took only small elements from my prompt (which is cool) and made this uniquely your own.

Great read Shani!



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Thank you @raj808 😀
It's a new genre for me so I was a little anxious that it was too banal, and that I used to many influences for it to cohere as a story, so I'm pleased that you enjoyed it in its entirety.
I learned a lot from doing it, I enjoyed working (more or less) to a brief, and playing with the structure. I didn't have an ending when I started so it was interesting how that evolved through the writing.

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@raj808 is the master of articulating what makes a story good - or great - and your descriptive details, the salt marshes, the sea kale and lavender, are marvelous indeed.

Me, I'm all about finding Roger again - child laborer conscripted to the ale house, spitting into the ale - and it matters not that tattle-tale Billy and the abusive uncle are not seen again. The goblin can be their metaphor. Escaping their terrible fate - so picturesquely! - is the reward this reader seeks. You deliver!

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How interesting what different people take from the story, and what appeals to them
Thank you, I'm glad I delivered 😁

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