Dedicated to all the fucked up drivers out there : In loving Memory of Uncle Raymond

in WEEKEND EXPERIENCES9 months ago (edited)

Just incase you weren't aware, this is the exactly what every driver sees when they're drunk outta their minds!

Hey, wanna know something bizzare?...
Ah yes! I thought you would. Well, here it goes:

Did you know that every year, at least tens of thousands of people die from road accidents? And even more worse, is the fact that at least - ATLEAST - 90% of those road accidents are caused by Human/Driver error! Pretty messed up huh?

Well, it's because of these type of horrifying stats and also, because of the untimely death of my Late Uncle Raymond (the drunkest driver you'd ever meet), that I was prompted to envision this invention

So, Shall we?

I chose this prompt:

What product or item have you wanted to invent? It doesn't matter how weird it may be, tell us what it is, what it does and why you want it. Here's your chance to be an inventor, and have some fun.

You know, I am something of an inventor myself :) - well, at least I like to think of it that way. Throughout my life, I have always been keen on wanting to solve the many problems of life, most especially the one's that affected me personally. I have always dreamt of mocking up something: an idea, an initiative, an innovation, an invention that could somewhat better both my life and the world as a whole. And though, not all my visions have been put into practice YET, I still believe that, somehow, they could affect the world in someway.

Tell me, is that not the purpose of a true inventor: To envision and create something - ANYTHING - that could change our way of life? For better or worse... No matter how big or small?...

I for one, certainly believe so.

Ha! Over the years, I have imagined some pretty significant yet bizzare invention types: from the electric mat that shocks you when you fail to adhere to its:

"Keep Calm, and take off your shoes"

Instruction. To using Shark DNA to help fight cancer(Sharks are immune to most diseases including cancer), all of these I have dreamt and though, they are nowhere as good as the guy who invented the:

The Universal Women's Matrix Chart

Damn it! This guy deserves a Nobel Peace Prize.

I still feel they could play a significant part in this big game called life.

Anyway, for this particular #weekend-engagement, I have taking it upon myself to come up with an invention that could, drastically, help resolve road accidents everywhere.

You see, if we think about it carefully enough, we'd realize that most road accidents could actually be prevented because when we take into consideration that a whooping 90% + of road accidents are caused by Human/Driver error which include: speeding, chemical impairment, drowsiness, aggressive/reckless driving, distracted driving, negligence, and so much more; we'd realize that WE, as the natural imperfect humans that we are , are the major cause of road accidents everywhere!

Now, this is were my invention comes in:

Imagine, a program that comes with A.I functioning, alcohol and toxic chemical scanners, face recognition, and an autopilot system all coupled with a sassy catchphrase that says upon command:

"Fuck Bad Drivers and Bad Driving"

Yes sir ri, I call this program - ED.


ED simply stands for - Educating Drivers. It is a program that, I believe, could actually terminate the involvement of Driver error in road accidents.

That's easily reducing road accident by a whooping 90%!!!

ED would exist in two forms: As a software program for Smart Cars and as a Hardware program for non- smart cars.

For the Software aspect of the invention: The idea is for ED to be electronically integrated into the car's system. Hereby, giving it full access to the car's autopilot function, in-door and out door cams, facial recognition, doors, and seatbelts.

In terms of tackling the human error problem at hand, the following can be undertaken:

Speeding, Negligence and Reckless driving: Say, a driver has carelessly gone over the regulated speed limit, and is now driving fast on a freeway like a mad man! All ED would simply have to do, is to hijack the car's system, instantly put it on autopilot then finally, the A.I would blurt out that fancy catchphrase of Its:

Fuck Bad Drivers and Bad Driving

Before causally parking the car in the nearest safest place and alerting the authorities to apprehend the driving scoundrel.

The same action can equally be taken against a driver who fails to adhere to the traffic warnings: Say the driver carelessly neglected a stop sign or a red light. And as well for reckless driving: say the driver decided it was a good idea to take a shortcut along a ONE WAY lane! Then, that same autopilot hijack and authority alert can be implemented.

Negligence and Reckless driving would as well not be tolerated by ED :)

Chemical/ Other substance abuse while driving: Say a driver is FOOLISHLY drinking or smoking Ethica while driving. Then ED, whom has full access to the car's air vents, can easily detect this illicit substance smell and once again, hijack the car's autopilot, park in a safe place, and alert the authorities.

Consequentially, ED could also completely prevent this act of intoxicated driving by making use of its facial recognition and thermal imaging function. The process is fairly simple: before a driver is able to get into his/her smart car, ED will scan the face of the driver using the heat signal in the person's body to check for dilated blood vessels on the surface and the hot spots that have been created by either drinking or smoking.

Essentially, the idea in a nutshell is: if you're not sober ED will treat you like a loner :)

Distraction and or Drowsiness: For this type of human error, ED will make use of its indoor face cams/ facial recognitions and it's autopilot function.

For the drowsiness part- say a driver is feeling a massive swarm of fatigue and is desperately struggling to keep his or herself from falling asleep then, ED's job would be to simply detect the drowsiness on the driver's face with its in-car face cam, alert the driver that it will soon go into autopilot mode, and ask him or her if they would like to autopilot to their final destination or safely park at a nearby spot. Then, after all those protocols have been observed, ED will causally play some relaxing music while the driver falls to sweet slumber as ED drives to said destination or parking spot at a convenient and moderate speed.

As a bonus, ED could also take a picture of the safely tucked in driver, fast asleep in autopilot mode, and send it to the authorities for both security purposes and just to show the boys back at the station that:

"Hey, no need to worry. ED's got ya covered ;)"

The distraction part though, would be tackled much differently: With the help of the in-car face cams and facial recognition, ED will make sure the car automatically jolts into autopilot mode once the driver has taken away his/her gaze away from the windscreen of the car for anything more than 3 seconds.

Essentially, the same process that was done with the software version of ED can also be undertaken with its Hardware version. The only difference would be that physical parts would have to be provided for the non-smart cars. Such as: biometrics for the outdoor and in-door facial recognition cams, chips for the autopilot, and a hardware version of ED itself in a form of a cute tiny box.

Oh yes, this all, is just a handful of what ED could possibly do to ensure proper safety on the road.

Ahhh... Imagine all the lives we could save with this invention and all the bad drivers we could fuck properly with :)

What a thought...

Thanks for reading and keep exploring!



Thank you for supporting the original #weekend-engagement initiative conceived by @galenkp and featured in THE WEEKEND community

The image belongs to @galenkp

I am reading all about ED, as I am an Ed I was thinking wtf does ED have to do with a drink driving invention but then you explain ED is for Educating Drivers.
This is a great concept and now that driverless driving is virtually here it needs looking at. We actually have some bus routes near me which are going driverless!
Drink Driving is a terrible thing, am not sure if that was the reason for the untimely death of Uncle Raymond or if he was a victim.
Thanks for sharing ED and I look forward to seeing you on the news have made your millions from it!

ED or other inventions like it, could probably go a long way in helping to resolve road accidents.

Ah yes, Uncle Raymond. I didn't really clarify what happened to him in the post well enough huh? Well, long story short, his reckless driving caused him to have a terrible accident that resulted in the complete termination of his life.

Honestly, creating the concept was the easy part but making it a reality, now there's the true challenge. Regardless, I think you're quite right! With the advancement in technology these days, it could be fairly simple.

Alas, the concept of ED goes far beyond my field of study. But who knows? Perhaps I could sell the idea for a couple bucks later on. Or even better, pitch the idea to an actual inventor who shares the same vision.

Always a pleasure my friend especially now that I know your name is Ed :)

Reading between the lines I was pretty sure that Uncle Raymond had brought about his own demise.
It should become reality one day, the need for driving ourselves will be obsolete soon enough.
Yep I am an Ed!

I sure hope so. It will sure get rid of those assholes who call themselves drivers.

Ahh... Ed huh? How nice!
Please tell me you have to best friends named Edd and Eddy :)

Aye the sooner those assholes are gone the better.
Funnily enough my two bests mates, one spells Ed Edd and the other one does call me Eddy.
So with my split personalities you do have Ed Edd and Eddy all rolled into one🤣🤣🤣

A cool driver aid named after you!

hehe how cool is that!

You've finally made it in life. 😀

woohoo I did I have made it 🤣

I'll admit that I was hoping ED would incorporate an opening roof and ejector seat. I'm a little disappointed but maybe ED 2.0 could include this upgrade?

I was also hoping ED would be able to detect those fucken assholes who flick their cigarette butts out the window like fucken entitled assholes and have a way of dealing with it. Say, a fist in the shape of Mike Tyson's that comes out of the steering wheel and punches the wanker in the face two or three times. ED 2.0 could add the user-choice option of the fist or a karate chop from a hand in the shape of Chuck Norris's.

Oh shit, that's a pretty fucken awesome idea! It's crazy, extremely far fetched, and probably could get someone killed but hell yeah! That's going in ED 2.0.

As I live and breathe, why didn't I think of this? I completely forgot about those entitled assholes! You're damn right tho, a Mike Tyson fist in the face should get the job done rather properly...

Hey, since it's ED 2.0, why not add the user option to use both at once? Ha! Nothing would hurt more than getting punched by Mike Tyson while being karate chopped by Chuck Norris 😂

Hmm, you're pretty good at this Galen, I'll personally see to it that you're involved in the brainstorming committee of ED :)

A double Norris/Tyson beating? Hmm...Let me think on that long and hard (one second later) fucking top notch idea!

I'm happy to be on the team...This project is going to the moon!

Hell yeah! We're on the same page then.

Also, that first image of yours...That's what I see when I engage warp speed mode in my LandCruiser.

For real? If I was you then, I'll be driving in warp speed mode ALL THE TIME. Because that actually looks pretty damn cool...

Too many speeding fines if I use warp speed...I usually just go with hyper-speed.

I'm pretty sure it's already been invented as all good inventions are, but I think the commentary is the selling point - fuck bad drivers indeed. ED sounds just as annoying as the voice on Google Maps though, if not more so.

The capacity for robot error is a bit worrying: "I'm not tired, ED, I'm just squinting!".

still, it's a much needed solution to a big problem. On teh weekend some speeding idiot went through two fences and ended up upside down in someone's yard. We heard it from our place. He walked away without a scratch! Bizarre. Could have been worse though. You could call it Darwin Awards but the fact is bad drivers kill other people too!

great post!

Yeah, you're quite right. With the advancement in Smart cars and technology these days : Tesla, fortwo, fortfour e.t.c. i won't be surprised at all if an A.I similar to ED already exists.
However, they're still some features that ED has that I'm sure those other systems haven't integrated yet.

And ha! Certainly they'll always be that little hint of robot/computer error every now and then. Hopefully, ED would be improved over time.

And for real? Damn, that's rough. I'm glad he survived the crash though. But it's precisely why programs like ED would become more essential to society as time goes by. It's the future.

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As they say, necessity is the mother of inventions. This idea is really on point. I don't want to sound like a conspiracist here, but one wonders why things like ED are not already a reality after all the technology is out there. It would be good to actually see this wonderful idea come to light. The slogans are catchy by the way.

Programs a little similar to ED do exist actually. They share the same features as autopilot and some smart cars now, even come with facial recognition!

Although, the major difference between both programs is in the exclusive features that ED has over the other such as: Thermal imaging scanning for intoxication, air vent scanners that scan the car for any stench of toxic chemical substances, and of course, that sassy catchphrase of it.

Also, the way ED creatively and exclusively uses those available features to prevent road accidents, is another major way in which ED differs from it's other A.I driving counterparts.

Thanks for stopping by and reading my friend!