Agghhh! What Now? Talk About As Straight Forward as Being Captain Of The Titanic...
Well ya don't say!!!
I realise something's not right... I try and check my e-mail and have the immense joy of watching the little spinny wheel, turning... turning... turning... I try and upload photos from my camera from destinations I want to tell those, kind enough to stop by my blog all about.
I want to make my first ever video so that you can see exactly what Dr. Franenstein meant when he proclaimed me to be alive...
I want to do so, so many things right now, but my intermittent wifi is so bloody bad that I have to sit and wait until the signal gets to 1 bar and try and complete whatever action I am trying to finish before the annoying spinny wheel steps back on stage ready for an encore.
Most of all though, right now, I want to say that I'm not as ignorant as I may seem! I do relish the comments I receive beneath my posts and I sincerely want to respond, many of you will know that when I do get round to writing responses sometimes I actually forget to stop... Oh heck, I bloody miss that (heck wasn't actually the word I was thinking but you have your own imagination, right?) just bear with me for a little longer.
When I do get wifi for a brief spell, I commit my thoughts to the blank space before me and the tab crashes, the page freezes, or my PC locks up and I need to force it to close... It's so damn frustrating.
There are many communities, weekly initiatives, and contests I take part in, support, or even donate to reasonably often that I am not getting to visit... I will be back, bigger and better than ever, soon.
It will mean relying on credit BUT I WILL be purchasing a new PC in the coming weeks and I WILL be investing in a high-speed broadband plan. It is not gonna be an easy thing to afford right now but as I say, with the help of credit I will be investing in tools befitting of my big plans.
Right now I should have set to work on some ambitious goals that I planned out for the remainder of the year with an eye on flying out of the traps for the turn of a brand new year.
My online plan is aimed at sharpening my skills, being committed almost daily with blogging, expanding in to video content, and making my first steps in to affiliate marketing but I'm not gonna get too down about it, what will that achieve?
This whole elaborate plan is designed to (I know I've mentioned it about a bloody trillion times) begin the gradual transition from my job that is trying to suck my soul from within on a daily basis.
I would be over the moon if for the remainder of the year I could earn enough online (separate from my Hive activities) that is the equivalent of buying back 5 to 10 hours of (salary equivalent) work per month. Of course, I cannot ring my boss and say I'm only working 10 hours tomorrow instead of 12 because I made a few dollars online, it is more of a symbolic goal which in good time can allow me to go part-time at my job.
You will know when I have the tools I need to take on the world and try and rediscover my dreams in the countdown to 50 because it will be overwhelmingly apparent in my exuberance, enthusiasm and prolific activity.
I repeat the word 'investment' that is what the extra expense will be. Despite having an incredibly challenging time financially recently I will feel zero guilt about the kit I choose as I am investing in Steven Inc, AKA Me LTD.
You may have detected my subdued mood for much of the last few months, that is not an accident, it has permeated every area of my life for much of the last six months, That will be banished by my 'taking on the world', and daring to have dreams that are just for me again, it's been some time indeed.
A desperate mid-life crisis and a set of truly disenchanting health issues have taken away my shine lately. It has also left behind some huge questions of an almost existential nature that I have been forced to ask myself and to try and answer, such as;
What could I be? What am I capable of? Is it too late? Am I getting too old? What if I crash and burn? Why all the negative undertones in these questions? Am I just lining up my excuses so that I am ready with an answer when I don't follow through?
I know the fundamentals, I just need to hold on to them a little tighter...
I've told you before, my head is not a great place to live and it is not conducive to sleeping well and sometimes it even frames me as eccentric, erratic, and unpredictable.
It's a bloody good job I know what lives in my head, and I am somewhat 'at the wheel', so at least I realise that my intentions are mostly good and I mean well otherwise I would hate the guy that stares back from the mirror... (Sometimes I do, but that serves no one, does it?)
Jeez! I did it again... I turned a simple update post designed to say 'sorry I'm quiet, unresponsive and a little undependable right now' into a nihilistic spiral of doom and despair and ceaseless, self-reflection, maybe even a little self-deprecation.
To reiterate, you will see a marked difference in my 'Joie De Vivre' once I get myself back on track.
Maybe, just maybe I should show you, stop bloody telling you and get my ass into gear and stop sounding like a bloody lost, pathetic loser...
Sadly the weather outlook is for non-stop, 12-hour shifts for the next few days (or nights) so even with googles own backup servers to support my plans, I would achieve little.
I do hope your weekend is bloody magnificent though, and if that's a little too much to ask for, I'm sure you would settle for good!
This is not much of a self-improvement community post if I am gonna be honest but I can only be authentic and true to my 'today mentality', right?
Sometimes the path to a vastly improved life starts in a valley just like this one, it may just make the view from the summit all the more majestic, satisfying, and worthy of reporting on.
We shall see, right?
Thank YOU for taking the time to read my post & if you're one of those amazing people who like to hit the comments section... Then I doubly thank YOU!
Either way, I want you to know that you are appreciated!
Keep taking the time to connect with each other both here & in the 'so-called' real-world & try & look after each other, because as you already know...
Hi @stevenwood,
Thank you for participating in the #teamuk curated tag. We have upvoted your quality content.
For more information visit our discord https://discord.gg/8CVx2Am
Thanks. It's been pretty bloody great so far.
Unfortunately I don't have any reliable high-speed internet to share with you, but here is some !PIZZA instead.
@stevenwood! I sent you a slice of $PIZZA on behalf of @brandt.
Did you know PIZZA team has a curation trail with 29 followers? (1/10)
It's a bloody sad state of affairs that here I am responding to you 3 weekends later!!!
I hope this weekend finds you equally great. Thank you for the gift, the problem with high speed internet is that it doesn't come with olives or mushrooms, so your offering was far more appropriate anyway. My net is still in need of a much needed upgrade (to be dealt with imminently) BUT my tech has been radically upgraded.
My days of frequent crashes, non saving writing editors and laggy unresponsive clicks and keyboard strokes are behind me, so such tardy responsiveness from me should be a thing of the past.
Take good care my friend, I will see you around, much, much more moving forward 😎
Sometimes !PIZZA is the only appropriate gift, right?
@brandt! I sent you a slice of $PIZZA on behalf of @stevenwood.
Learn more about $PIZZA Token at hive.pizza (1/10)
Incidentally this weekend is also bloody magnificent. Glad you got your high speed internets up and running.
!OLIVES and !MUSHROOMS
It's okay. I'll just sit and wait here until you're ready. I'm a patient person. Take your time. I'm kidding. Let's get cracking!
Oh my friend, your patience has certainly reached Defcon 5, tolerance-testing levels in anticipation of this response!
You are completely correct in your summing up that I read
in another shamefully unanswered, wonderful commentelsewhere, we do indeed keep missing each other, but no more!!!This crazy English dude has had a much needed, tech upgrade and will be around so much more moving forward, that you won't be able to escape, nonsensical, rambling, insane, Steven Wood posts & comments, left, right & centre...
I hope you and yours are doing wonderfully well, I'm sure that even if you were not, perspective would be found and something would be learned from any adversity encountered.
Bring on the future - I will certainly see you around. 😎
!PIZZA
@dswigle! I sent you a slice of $PIZZA on behalf of @stevenwood.
Learn more about $PIZZA Token at hive.pizza (2/10)
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Hey Steven. i LOVE your post. It is courageous and vulnerable. i take my hat off to you. And it is most certainly a Self-Improvement post.
Please tag me in such posts in future and for sure you'll get my votes, which may help a little.
Keep up the good work.
Ps. A prescription from me (i'm not a doctor so you can trust me :-) for this
These will very likely help restore your health and shine quite quickly.
Hope this helps.
Sat Nam
Atma
Love it! I wholeheartedly agree too.
Atma, any time I have ever encountered you, I have left our interaction with a truly uplifting feeling and a smile on my face. Few people live up to the ideals it means to be a human BEing, in this regard, I have to say you have never disappointed. Even this very comment sums up the kind of person you are, rather than simply read it, say 'I hope you feel better soon', and move on, You took the time to actually offer useful help to someone in need.
That marks you out as a very special person but also as someone who knows this should not be 'special', it should be the norm, from all of us, towards all of us.
Life is difficult enough anyway, (no-one gets out alive), and this is the only way we stand any chance of finding the true meaning of life. Thank you so much for the book recommendation, I will let you know my thoughts after reading and of course for the thoughtful suggestions for getting back on track.
I remember sending you a message on a very old (matrix 8) post, probably last springtime after you had been missing for a little while. It turned out you were going through a somewhat emotional time of your own but I wanted you to know that you were certainly missed... We don't have nearly enough people among us whose hearts are truly open, when they are not around, people notice!
I remember exactly when we first crossed paths, the very post in fact, I was incredibly impressed with your ethos and outlook on the world:
That being said, we don't cross paths all that often, but when we do, I am reminded of the kind of human you are and I gotta say, you are bloody wonderful man. Bulgaria's gain was certainly England's loss, but either way the planet benefits, right?
Sorry to ramble on for so long Atma but I was struck by your lovely comment and the only way I know to respond is to throw several thousand words at the page!!! 😁
Thanks again, take wonderful care of you and yours my friend. Wishing you peace, love, happiness and all the very best that life has to offer.
!PIZZA
@atma.love! I sent you a slice of $PIZZA on behalf of @stevenwood.
Learn more about $PIZZA Token at hive.pizza (3/10)
There is another book which has helped me a lot; The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. In summary, he gives an analogy that we all have a love tank, and invariably there is particular love language which makes us feel more loved than the other ones, so when someone "speaks" to us in that particular language, our tank fills up and we feel loved.
Well, my most dominant love language is Physical Touch, and i've not been getting so much of that. Some, but i crave more. Anyway, in the test i took at the back of the book to determine my love language, Words of Affirmation came in at close second.
Reading your comment tears came through my eyes and my love tank filled up.
So, thank you dear brother. i appreciate you.
You are seeing yourself in the mirror of me!
Con amor
Atma
Ps.
Fyi. the other three love languages are:
Quality time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
A more detailed summary here
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/click-here-happiness/202009/what-are-the-5-love-languages-definition-and-examples