I don't know what to say. Horrifying. I am so very sorry for the tragedy in your life. Childbirth is a life and death roller coaster. I am happy that your last child was born without serious incident, but you must be terrified at the prospect of another delivery.
Even here (in the U. S.), I think childbirth is more serious business than many people realize. It's natural, but there are risks.
As always, @gentleshaid, a very interesting, well-written article.