ACADEMICALLY SCARED

In life, there are a lot of scenarios playing out simultaneously. However, in all these scenarios there is one thing that cut across all – that is what is called Emotions. And fear is one feeling that comes in creepy at times.

Fear. Most times, the word fear is used or can be attributed to something or someone that is capable of doing wrong to us naturally. Sometimes, there may even be nothing, in particular, that is why there is Fear of the Unknown. Enough of describing fear!

Source

Have you ever been in a situation where you actually scared of a precise academic failure? Well, I was never in one. Not until the second semester in the second year in school. As a general engineering course in 200l, we all were to take Kinematics. The course that could be said to be the forerunner of this was Dynamics, which was relatively easier and so I thought kinematics should be. But I was entirely wrong. The mode of teaching at this time was virtual because it was the year after the covid era in Nigeria. I must confess, it was never an efficient mode of teaching at all. We only accepted it because it was not rejectable and we never could do anything about it!

On the day of the exam, we were seated in the hall and I remember vividly I was seated at the front – just after the invigilators. The question papers were shared and when I took a glance through all the questions. I knew the worst has happened already. Truthfully speaking, 80% of the questions were not even related to what existed in the learning materials. They are actually from the topics that were among the course outlines that he didn’t cover or partially did. And I knew this man knew he didn’t cover everything – he knew! I was only able to attempt only a handful of the questions.

Honestly, that was the first time in my life that the thought of failing an (internal) examination crossed my mind. This was after I had calculated the odds. My dear, I was scared to the marrow. I had to call my mum – my father must not even hear an inch of that story- and told her. She advised me and prayed. And told me to have some faith. I was a little bit glad my mother understood.

You know, growing up, my parents were educationists in a little higher than moderate way. But they were never educational extremists – if that exists. Basically, they praised education or better still good academic performance well and react explosively to otherwise. My mother made sure we did our homework well, had us prepare for school every day, and occasionally give treats to our teachers in school – I think that was a bribe for them never to spare the rod. Anytime my father was around, he asks after our doings in school and at home likewise. More germane to this was that he taught all of us (his kids) maths at home.

The lecturer handling this Kinematics was especially disappointing, honestly. He held virtual meetings and sent videos repeating exactly what was in the learning materials he sent to us – which was mostly not understandable to me at all. When I say exactly, I mean no variation even in words at all. Some of the courageous ones complained but it fell on deaf ears. Like every other normal student like me, I tried to read the materials and seek help online. Well, I tried.

I just had to find a way of taking the thoughts of that exam off my mind and only prayed about it once in a while. The exam results came out some days before we resumed the new session. Look, don’t think about this as one miracle testimony of having an A. Not at all. Well, I scaled through with a D with serious burns. Maybe that was a miracle on its own. Yes, I was both sad and happy at the same time. That was the first in my entire life. But it was better than the worst.

The main lesson I got from this experience is that do not wait for a time too late to ask for help. If I had gotten help from friends earlier, maybe that might not have happened.