Bullying: What My Eyes Have Seen...

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(Edited)

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Image by Annie Spratt


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Well, I am going to be honest with you all. I had my own share of bullying as a kid.

I will tell you all about it.

As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I attended a government secondary school, in what was at that time one of the roughest neighborhoods in Lagos state. I had made the switch from a private primary school and got admission into a government secondary school. It was quite a popular trend back then.

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This was at a time when the Lagos state government was still preaching free education so that every child would go to school. As a result, there were all kinds of classmates that we had.

I was very young back then, barely a teenager, but I was in the same class with some people that in this day and age would most likely be considered adults. Just in JSS1, imagine having to call your classmates “Uncle” or “Aunty” just because of the age difference.

When you look at them, just how mature they are, no one will tell you to put the prefix to their names. Back then, because government school students can be quite unruly, the oldest and biggest students were usually made class captains. This was because most of the time the captain would have to do things the others do not like, for instance writing down the names of the noisemakers in the class. Those whose names are on the list and get punished might decide to take their revenge on the class captain at the close of school.

This was why they always selected someone that they were sure could handle themselves no matter what.

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Image by Juan Carlos Trujillo

My JSS1 year was not my best year at all. I was always living in fear, both from the school authorities and from my fellow students. It was around this time that cult wars were kind of rampant in Lagos state. You would hear about one school, going to fight in another school. Bodies were dropping like flies. Almost every week, there was one tragedy that involved a school. No one was safe.

So, the then governor Babatunde Raji Fashola decided to clamp down hard on the menace. Back then, they began to drastically reduce the population of the students. Any small offense, as little as leaving your classroom without a permit, the child would be expelled. If after break time you stayed too long on the school field and you were caught, expulsion. There was nothing like suspension or having to cut grass. You would be expelled straight away.

Because of this, I was always scared and tried my best to be of good behavior.

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Image by Rodnae Productions

But that is not the story of me being bullied.

I was bullied during my JSS1, which is my first year in secondary school. As I said earlier, we had youths in our class. People that were easily ten to twelve years older than us. They were physically stronger than us, even though we were usually more intelligent than them.

I was not the only one being bullied; those guys mostly wanted money or food, so anyone they saw that was not as strong as they were and had it they would take it from them. You could be eating in the class, trying to mind your business, and someone would just come and snatch your snacks or food from you. At first, you want to take it back but when you see who the person is, you just sit back down and swallow your spittle. Tears will burn your eyes as you watch them walk away with what is yours. They are bigger and stronger than you, they can beat you blue and black and no one will do anything.

Especially not the teachers, at that time.

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Image by Mikhail Nilov

Things like these went on day in and day out. Sometimes, you will be given twenty naira to go and buy something worth a hundred naira. When you tell them that the money is not complete they will tell you it’s not their business, your job is to get them what they asked. And truly, if you fail to get it, there will be hell to pay. So what do you do? You have to use your own money to make up for it, it could be your pocket money or even your transport money, just make it up to that hundred naira so you would not get into their trap.

It was that bad. Other times you could be playing with your friends and someone would just approach you all and start rifling through your pockets, anything of value they found, they took it. And if you tried to talk, you would have an idea of the secret the hand said to the cheek.

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There are just so many stories, if I say them all, then this post will most likely never end. Apart from the bullying, there was also constant fighting. Most times, the school would have to be closed earlier just to save the lives of the students… it was a hard time indeed.

But thankfully, I made it through that first year. Because a directive was given to further shrink the population of the schools, students that failed to have at least six credits in their subjects including maths and English would have to repeat the class. And if they repeated again, then they would be withdrawn from the school.

Thanks to that directive, many of the bullies repeated the class. But most of them did not stay, they dropped out instead of choosing to repeat the class. They were the ones that were always causing trouble in the class and by the time they were gone, the school became safer and quieter. We could not spend our money or eat our food in peace.

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Image by Rodnae Productions

This change did not just happen in my school, it was all over Lagos state, and soon the time of cult clashes and school fights became a thing of the past. Thanks to that repeat/withdraw rule, every student had to buckle up and study hard so they do not repeat.

And for that, I was able to finish the rest of my secondary education peacefully.

I would never wish what I went through on anyone, not even my enemy. Because at that time, it was not a good experience at all. I had to go to school each day, scared of my fellow students and scared that I would probably mess up and get expelled. I knew how my Mum ran around trying to get me into that school. So I bore everything and I saw it to the end. Thank God.

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Image by Annie Spratt

If there is one thing that experience taught me, it was how to pick my friends. I made some really cool friends in the school, people I am still in close contact with today. They are the ones that taught me how to behave when I am in the street so I do not get taken advantage of. And they are the ones that taught me that just because I lived on a street, did not necessarily make me street.

There was a difference.

I really enjoyed my secondary education, it was one of the best experiences for me and I would not trade it for anything because it was pivotal in making me who I am today. And today when I look back at how I started, I wonder; what if I had been expelled back then? Or what if I had dropped out because of the bullies?

Only God knows.

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I do know that my life has turned out great so far and for that, all thanks bee to God. I will keep on doing my thing and anyone at all that tries to intimidate me or make me do something that I do not want to do. I let them know that I am not the person to be intimidated. If you want to intimidate me, you better be holding a gun.

So friends, what do you think of my experience with bullies? Is it one you can relate with or it is something unique? Have you been bullied before? Feel free to let me know in the comments section.

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Image by KAL VISUALS

Thank you for reading, till we meet in the next post.
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This post is inspired by the third topic for this week which is Bullying. Feel free to try it out.
Borderimage credit: @deimage.



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29 comments
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The age difference is so big that there is often bullying of younger students, they feel big and always ask for pocket money or what we bring, in my area since a few years ago an age limit rule has been made at every level of education, if not, this will continue to happen and result in other students feeling uncomfortable

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That is the thing, and most of the time, they do not even need to resort to violence. Their sheer size is enough to intimidate you and make you hand over all your stuff.
Thank you for reading.

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🤣🤣🤣🤣 God I can just imagine adding that prefix uncle and aunty. People that look old enough to even father a child. This will already create fear in your mind on seeing such huge people in your class.

Omo the case of giving students money to buy something of value worth more than the money they gave is evil. Bullying in government schools is another story to talk about. Most of those bullies ends up repeating classes😅😅 nature will surly take it cause 😂😂

Bullying is bad and I am happy you are alive to tell the story. Some people die at the process.

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Yeah... it was usually the unserious ones that did this. And they never really lasted.
Thank you for reading.

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You were saved by the new exam directive and was able to escape bullying. And your experience with bullying is a relatable one because we all had those big students who loved to throw their weight around and oppress the little ones.
Thank you for sharing.

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Yeah... it sure came in handy, did it not?
Because of that, I was able to go through the rest of my school in peace.
Thank you for reading.

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And they are the ones that taught me that just because I lived on a street, did not necessarily make me street.

This reminds me of my story because I have also lived on the streets for a short period of time. However, if we live on the streets, be ourselves by being kind to others, we shouldn't be living on the streets always accompanied by criminal cases. because it all depends on how we behave in everyday life.

Yabg story is very interesting, really extraordinary.

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I guess some people are just not wired to be kind, they will always look out for their selfish interests, and most of the time, it involves harming someone weaker than they are.
Some are not usually lucky enough to survive that.
Thank you for reading.

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You had a fearful experience and I think there were cases when you add the aunty or uncle and they will still bully you and add to it. The street has not always been friendly, for you trying to overcome all that and be the better person you are is worth celebrating.

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Yeah, adding the suffix did not spare you. It just meant you were not singled out. Because once you were singled out by a bully, then you were truly done for.
Thank you for reading.

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at school, the things that often happen are looting our pocket money and the food we bring. in school not only math exams we have to face but also such exams.

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Yeah... Having to go to school with fear in our hearts. That was a horrible time indeed.
Thank you for reading.

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I can relate to this very well, having people ten years older than you in the class is something else.

A guy who dropped out of a public school then was brought to our school and he became a real bully but he never trespass on my side because I don't fall for his tricks or threat.

You had a great experience, glad you made it through those tough government schools moments.

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Thank God such a thing is now in the past. In secondary school these days, all you will find are small children who don't even have time to bully. At least that is what I am hoping.
Thank you for reading.

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Oh my God! All these things happened here in Lagos schools? That's horrible.

Your experience is really bad, emotionally you were down I think...living in fear..all thanks to those directives, they were live savers at that point.

Bullying is really a bad act and I hope it gets reduced drastically.

Thanks for sharing your life experiences with us👍

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Yes ooo!
But it was a long time ago and things are much better now.
I am grateful for that.
Thank you for reading.

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Bullying is really bad. Though for me the revers was the case, I was actually bullying others.
Thanks for sharing with us.

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Wow...
Well, this is indeed different.
Hope you are better now?🤔

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(Edited)

I've never been bullied in my life but I've seen a lot of it around. It always makes the vulnerable live in fear around them. I'm glad you escaped it at a point. Thanks to Fashola for his effort. That part of making up money was what I hated most. It later made some junior students heartless too. Either they spit into the food they send them or add a little urine. Bullying is considered a bad act that should not be allowed. Well done bro.

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And sometimes, it makes the students believe such a thing is okay. So if the victims see people that are weaker than they are, they would bully them as well. Just a cycle over and over.
Thank you for reading.

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You are welcome brother.

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Yeah I can relate, though it didn't happen to me maybe I was lucky but for some of my friends, they had to buy food for our seniors back then with their own money...

And then during inter house sport I would not bother to go to school at all cause I know there will be chaos, I'll just sit back at home and hear the scores the next morning in school.

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Yeah... inter-house sports competition was always a cause for fights then. It got so bad that our principal banned it from our school. Till I left, we never did it again. I do not know if they have resumed it now though.
Thank you for reading.

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(Edited)

I can really relate to your experience. My sister was bullied herself and I had friends in government schools who went through same and couldn't speak for themselves. This made her develop a low -self esteem and anxiety. I'm glad the directive was put in place and you lived through such horrible experience. I pray more of such measures are taken to eradicate this rude behaviour. Thank you for sharing.

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You are right, I hope people will be able to make the personal decisions to not be bullies. Both adults and children. Because the effects can never be positive.
Thank you for reading.

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