Ah, my dear Senorita, you have arrived. Allow me a gentle kiss upon your fair hand. Oh, but where are my manners? It looks like I’ve forgotten to put on some clothes. I shall wear this robe, yes? It’s silky and made of the finest synthetic material you can find on Amazon.
You are curious, are you not? What secret lies beyond that door? What heavenly delights await there? You must be patient, chiquita. Like the great bard Axle Rose once said, “all we need is just a little patience.”
Before I invite you into my boudoir, we’re going to need some hardware. Oh yes, naughty isn't it? I love antiquated charms, but I am very much a man of the modern age and not shy of synthetic pleasures.
I do have a confession to make. I’m wild in the sack. O yes! Especially when I fall asleep. Tossing and turning and hopping and humping and bumping and thumping and wiggling and writhing and just causing a whole lot of shaking throughout the night. While under certain conditions, this excited restlessness can be exhilarating, it usually ends up in a poor night's sleep. This is the reason why I am now testing the BedJet sleep system.
The concept of the BedJet system is fairly straightforward: pump some air into a sheet and use it to regulate your body temperature throughout the night. That’s it. Despite its simplicity, there is some bulky hardware involved. A heating/cooling air pumping unit is hooked up to a hose, and then the hose is clamped to the side of the bed and inserted into a special bed-sheet provided with the system. Doesn’t that sound sexy? Here are some product pics to get us in the mood.
Look at this package. Nicely organized and protected. That’s how I like my toys.
The big box on the upper left corner is the brains of the system, which allows you to set the temperature, fan speed, and scheduling functions using the remote control and a phone app.
The air hose can be lengthened or shortened, depending on your needs
The air hose is plugged to this end of the unit.
This is the spine of the system
The idea behind the BedJet system is that during the night, you temperature needs will change. With this system, you set up a regulated environment that can adapt to those changing needs and produce a better night’s sleep.
Adjustable air hose and control unit
"Oh my! Is that an air hose under your bed, or are you just happy to see me?"
Industrial strength hijinks
I think this is illegal in some provinces.
It's a promise, not a warning 😜
The remote control allows you to program several functions and assign them to buttons
The controller lights up when you pick it up. The texture is smooth, silky, and feels well made. The interface is easy to navigate and gives you access to multiple functions, including firmware updates
I've only used this system for a few days, so it's not enough to determine if it has actually improved the quality of my sleep. It works in the sense that it delivers a stream of air (warm or cold) and changes the temperature in your immediate environment. It's gratifying when you feel the sheet begin to inflate, as if a fluffy cloud just fell on top of you. The volume of air also adds a light cozy weight vaguely reminiscent of a cuddly embrace.
I love dimples
The unit makes noise, but it’s no worse than small fan, so it quickly fades as background noise. Increasing the fan rotation speed produces a stronger stream of air (and more sound). The air stream can feel pleasurable, but it can also be a source of annoyance when it begins to feel 'drafty'. By lowering and raising the temperature, you can you find the optimal range that works for you. Although the set up and interaction are simple, learning to use the system properly takes time. You have to interact with it throughout the night to find the appropriate settings. Conveniently, you can script "biorythms"- a set of grouped functions (speed, temp, and time)- and store them for quick access. The engineering looks solid and attaching it to the bed was easy. On aesthetics, the system is not going to win any awards, but the remote control is well made and cool to interact with.
So are you ready for a new experience? Are you ready to slip into the ecstasy of cybernetics and enjoy the bliss of the jet age?
All images by @litguru