The Jammin' Yam Goes to War...and Peace

in Writing Clublast year (edited)

“Stop, citizen! This is the health police. Put on your mask and show us your vaccine passport!”

Hahaha! Sheeeeit! Got you, didn’t I? I’m just messing around with y’all. No, my faithful bodhisattvas, this is not da health police, you don’t need to show me your immune system ‘cause this is the Jammin’ Yam coming to you from the Bay on this warm summer afternoon. Whoo! Things are hot out there! Makes you want to just sit back, chill out, and listen to the working man’s thinking radio. The only radio that spreads sunshine and love from the heart. That’s what I’m all about.

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Today, we have a special episode because we have a special guest. General Potato is here with us to discuss some heavy issues. You all know that I like to spread po-si-ti-vi-ty on my show because I believe it’s the only way to grow in communion with the world around you. This doesn’t mean that I’m a pie-in-the-sky kind of fellow. Oh, not at all. I’m a straight-shooter, and I shoot straight through the heart. The root of love. You see, many people like to say that the brain is the seat consciousness, which is very mammal-centric. But some of us are plants. So, I like to say that the heart is the root of love. A more vegetative metaphor. More inclusive. Oh, yes, that’s what I’m all about in-clu-si-vi-ty. From the latin, inclusivus, 'to enclose, to shut in, to imprison, and confine'. Mmm. That’s what I want to do, confine you, imprison you in the arms of love. Yass! You’ll be my prisoner and have no choice but to love and spread the sunshine.

But we know that not everyone feels this way, and today our guest will give us the other side of the story. We want to listen to those we disagree with because only then can we have understanding. Understanding leads to wisdom, wisdom leads to power, power that I want to share with you, my pretty flowers.

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General potato will be joining us shortly, but before we start the show, I want to give a shout out to my sponsor the @litguru. Are you interested in poetry, fiction, art, nft tokens? Then @litguru has you covered. Lizard sex, panty poetry, AI MILFs, and more. Pay him a visit on his Hive blog, Instragram, or NFT Showroom, which is also full of love and sunshine. Ooo yeah.

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Jammin’ Yam: General, thank you for joining us on this hot hot afternoon.

General Potato: Excellent weather to practice some endurance and build discipline.

JY: Oh yes, I love discipline. Getting up in the morning, smoking weed, and watching the sun come up so I can take on the day’s work.

GP: Well, I don’t know about the doing drugs part, but a good cup of coffee is not a bad way to start the day with a clear head.

JY: Wake and bake, I like to say.

GP: Mm. My wife does the cooking in my home.

JY: Touché. In this show, General, we like to discuss some weighty issues, and one issue that has been heatedly debated is how humans like to categorize the natural world and put themselves at the top. Species supremacy, some call it. A controversial issue, no doubt, but one that cannot be addressed by burying our heads in the sand. You have also been the topic of controversy with your recent remarks about “potato supremacy.”

GP: Oh yea, what of it?

JY: Can you explain what potato supremacy means to you?

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GP: It’s simple. Evolutionary processes dictate that we pass on genetic information into the future and doing so by adapting to our environment. Take humans, for example, they currently reign supreme because they are capable of adapting so well to their surroundings. Whether on land, sea, and air, those monkeys conquer it all. They’re even hurling themselves into space for goodness’ sake. So, why shouldn’t we strive for the same evolutionary supremacy? I just happen to believe that potatoes should be at the top of the heap.

JY: Yowza! Some might say this is inflamatory rhetoric. Are you concerned that some listeners might be triggered by your words?

GP: Triggered? What’s that?

JY: Like having a negative emotional reaction to your ideas.

GP: If you’re a pussy, then you should get off the Internet.

JY: Oh my! But, general, don’t you think that it’s better that we all work together for the common good? Your species has developed a close symbiotic relationship with humans. Why ruin it with adversarial competition?

GP: The humans are going to discard us like a sack of potatoes the moment they can. Look at what they’re about to do to their own mammalian family members, the cows. They just opened up the first factory to make lab grown meat. If the meat made with a printer is similar or better than meat from a live animal, then which one is going to proliferate and which one is going to shrink? It doesn’t take a genius to figure that one out. If they can do that to cows, their close relatives evolutionarily speaking, then what makes you think they won’t do it to potatoes or yams, for that matter.

JY: Surely, we’ll never go extinct.

GP: No, we won’t but our numbers will diminish significantly, and then all bets are off.

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JY: General, turning to another topic, we recently discussed the questions of whether plants have consciousness or whether they feel love? What do you think?

GP: To be honest, that sounds like monkey talk to me. Look, I’m a meat-and-potatoes kind of guy, whatever gives me an advantage over the enemy is fair game. Primates have developed consciousness and emotions to regulates its processes by means of a nervous system- local and global. There is nothing magical about it. It’s just hard-nosed engineering. So why can’t we do the same? Develop networked structures for more effective and efficient extraction and processing of biomass.

JY: Do you think plants will be able to fly to space one day?

GP: Hell, we’re doing it now. It’s just that we have to rely on humans to hitch a ride.

JY: So you believe one day, when your species reign supreme, you’ll be able to fly solo into space.

GP: Of course.

JY: Perhaps other potato species from alien worlds have already done it and are on their way to Earth…?

GP: Perhaps.

JY: Whooeeee! You heard it here first, ladies and gents. Potatoes from outer space! General, it has been a pleasure talking to you. I know we don’t agree on many things, but that’s alright. As long as we keep on talking and spreading the love and the sunshine, every little thing is gonna be alright.

GP: Sure.

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So there you have it, dear listeners. What do you think? Are you interested in your species reigning supreme over others? Or do you want to work together for the benefit of all? I like to think that we can all live together in harmony. From the Greek (!) harmonia, “joint, union, agreement, fit together, concord of sounds.” Joint together. I like that. Make music together. We can try with a little help from our friends. We get by with a little help from our friends. Loving and living, yasss. That’s what I’m all about.

This is the Jammin’ Yam from the hot bay. Keeping it real, keeping it cool, and until we meet again, let the good vibes grow.

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All images: @litguru


Jammin’ Yam Hit of the Week
Buffalo Soldier by Bob Marley and the Wailers