I know the title is way off the subject in question but when has anything ever been straightforward except for the bedroom? Get where I'm going with this?
The world is migrating...
Today, most people no longer care for the world around them as long as they have the world inside their gadgets. The virtual realm is now the place many seek comfort and validation. They want to be recognized by people from different races of life.
In a way, the sense of urgency that has been created by the socio-economic situation of the world plays a hard role in this. As of now, not only do you need a degree to get a good job, you need to be knowledgeable in one area of technology or the other.
With the way the world is moving and migrating finances, networks and relationships to the digital phase, it is no surprise that many would also look there to find love.
The effects of the counterfeit: engaging the less
Love is not a tangible thing and it has more than one face. In this time, where selfishness has climbed the hierarchy and pride has settled in the hearts of most people now, the littlest amount of attention and understanding can pass off as something else.
We hear many youths making emphasis on how they might never get married and others boldly declaring their motives for getting married - which is not always good. With the sting of rejection and the lack of love penetrating the hearts of upcoming men and women, it is now the norm "not to love".
As love is not something you can see or feel (love is not a feeling, it is a choice) or even touch, it is easy to get carried away by the cheapest things. Things that pass off as love but no where close. So how do we not fall prey to the scams of love? Because they do not only exist online but they are very much rampant even in the real world.
First understand love!
Some months ago, Nigeria lost an icon to a love scam. We wouldn't want this to repeat itself. For that not to happen, we need to let people understand what true love is. Once you have seen the characteristics of real love or experienced it, you can easily decipher counterfeit. So, let us identify some of the features of love.
Love is Patient
True love isn't easily agitated. When a person constantly puts pressure on you or always tries to make you feel bad about not doing something, it is a red flag. Once you begin to feel stressed or put under pressure (mostly by the person) to provide for them (someone who you barely know), it is a red flag.
Love is Kind and Self-Sacrificing
The person always seems to just take. They don't give. This is not only referring to online relationships. They always want you to do what they want and be there for them but they are almost never there for you. Not just in terms of materialistic things. Also emotionally. They are always so concentrated on selling their problems to you. Love doesn't do that. It seeks to ease burdens not multiply it.
Love does not boast, envy or ridicule
When you find yourself being intimidated or talked down by someone who claims to love you, it is not love. They engage you in unhealthy competition and strife. This doesn't only refer to romantic relationships but also friendships and family. Love doesn't intimidate, mock or taunt someone. It nurtures, cares and lifts people.
Love brings out the best in you and suffocates the worst
Love encourages to be the best you can be. It gives you the necessary tools to be better, e.g advice, motivation and emotional support. Love isn't just about butterflies in the belly, love is not lust or infatuation. Love is submission and sacrifice. It is putting others first, lifting them up and being there for them. Above all, Love is durable and never fades.
So when that person is making you smile and think, oh God oh God oh God, ask yourself, is it real? Do not be carried away by the littlest amount of attention and see it as love. Do not settle for less than you are worth.
As this world progresses and things get harder, people will begin to settle for easier things. Never let this be you. It would be a disaster.