The crown affair

in The LIFESTYLE LOUNGE10 months ago

I arrived feeling decidedly unenthusiastic about the whole affair but, never one to shy away from responsibility, I approached the gatekeeper stated my name and business and was admitted into the inner sanctum. There was no turning back now.

I waited like the others, patiently, for the fate we were soon to face; We were together now, but would face our doom alone. I'd like to say we would all face it standing up, but I knew it wouldn't be, just couldn't be, and that most of us would have to take it laying down, the instruments of torture out of sight until the last moment and bright lights blinding us as our tormentor went to work.

A pretty young girl came over and called my name...My eye should have been more appreciative of her lovely looks.. But all I could think of was my impending doom. I rose and, with reluctance, followed her into the dentist's room.

I was here for a crown, but let's just call it what it truly is; Torture.

After some enjoyable small talk my torturer and dentist, a lovely South African girl, got down to business explaining the methods and process of what she would do to me, the crown. This is how it went.

I'll stick this massive needle about seven inches into your gum and squeeze in some toxic rat poison to numb the left side of your body and to ensure you talk like a drooling brain damaged person for at least the next twelve hours.

She seemed pleased at the look of pain and horror on my face as it contorted with the thought.

Then I'll scan your lower jaw with a camera to get a 3D model of it.

She held up a thing that looked like a huge silver dick with a blue light at the end and she waved it like a rubber dildo smiling the whole time.

After I've done that I'm going to take this drill, one I liberated off a 1950's gold mine in the Yukon, and grind off two millimetres from the top off the tooth and one from all the sides. Don't worry, you won't feel a thing. Hopefully.

I looked at the drill, an evil looking thing that would be doing about 15,000 RPM in my mouth shortly. If she found gold in there I hoped she'd share it with me, but my spidey-senses were telling me there would be no gold.

I'll Polish whatever pitiful remains are left of your tooth and then stick the big camera-cock back in there and scan the upper jaw and tooth area whilst giggling about that big phallus going in and out of your mouth.

I was dubious. I looked dubious. Wouldn't you be dubious? She seemed to be getting overly excited about that phallus being in my mouth.

When that's done you can leave, taking your pathetic little ground-down tooth with you, and wait for me to call you. We will be using the 3D model we create on the computer to mill the crown ready for fitment. Don't eat, don't drink, don't touch the tooth, don't breathe, don't walk, don't look at anything, don't think, don't talk, don't move...Just don't do anything. Now off you go.

With that she began the process she'd described and after being tortured for an hour or so she declared phase one complete.

I made my way out of the dentist's room and onto the street feeling a little hard done by. There I sat trying not to do anything as instructed...For an hour.

On returning to the chair she had more torture lined up for me, but phase two was far less jabby and drilly and there was no cock-camera involved at all.

Basically she made sure the crown fitted properly, made some adjustments and then slathered it with glue, Tarzan Grip or QuickGrip I believe, and jammed the crown over the top of my ground-down tooth.

Phase two complete, it looks good. You see, it didn't hurt a bit did it?

She seemed happy with her work, but I suspected she was thinking about money right about then. I would have cheered but I had lock jaw from holding my mouth open for the last two hours. I managed a small whimper though, a whimper of exhalation I think you could call it.

My dentist tried to make small talk once again, but I knew she was simply interested in getting my money now, she has a Mercedes to pay for after all.

That was my crown experience today and now, hours later and despite the fact I still can't feel half my body, I think it went well. It's actually a combination of some very cool technology and I was pretty impressed with how smooth the process was.

The 3D scan was cool and how they mill the crown is also. They do it on a machine called a...It's a...Erm, well, let's just call it the crown milling machine. The crown itself is made from a lithium desilicated ceramic material; Glass basically, very tough glass.

This is my first crown and hopefully last. I have to say, it wasn't half as bad as I had thought it might be and in truth was pretty low impact. The needle, yeah I don't love it, and the drilling...Well, I didn't feel a thing thanks to two needles...I can't complain.

Have you ever had a good or bad experience at the dentist? I don't know many people who love it and most hate it to the point of not going. I'm in between I guess and go a couple times a year...I like to eat I guess and having good choppers help get that done.

Tell me below about your dentist story though...I'll get back to you when the feeling in my left side comes back. 🤣

Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised.

Be well
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OMG, this is the first thing I am reading this morning (7:30 a.m.) a crown thing, ok, let's see what's this...

Wait, is he talking about dentist? 😂

I don't have so interesting experience within the topic... The normal I would say, I go when I have to 🤐
My son is going about twice a month as he wears braces..two years now 🤦🏻‍♀️ so I don't know if the dentist already managed to buy the Mercedes or we have to pay a bit more for a few months 💶💰

Lol...Well I think in the case of your son his dentist got the Mercedes and then realised he's charging so much for your son's braces that he can buy a second, and a few jet skis and a speed boat. So, yeah...Good to be him I guess. :)

Thanks for commenting. :)


It explains now the situation 💡...when I called for the appointment and he said he would be away for a few 🤷


Exactly...He was on his way to trade in this little dinghy for a new and bigger one...Paid for by your sons braces! 😂

Bloody dentists!

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Actually we did in India. THURSDAY : WHO announces pandemic FRIDAY : Panic SATURDAY: Get all fillings replaced and teeth cleaned TUESDAY : Get last flight out of India

I entirely forgot that happened.

Lol...Well, I think it's a brave girl who goes to a dentist over there...You made it through clearly, and hopefully all your organs are intact and not sold on the black market. :)

700 bucks for 2 people to get entire fillings replaced .. it was worth losing a kidney and half an eye.

Lol...Yeah I'll say, that's pretty good. I hope they gave you a Panadol before the procedure.

I am a nervous person in the dentist chair and almost drown in my saliva when they are working....

I did not take good care of my teeth and in my early 30's had to have gum surgery. This is where they cut down the gum (closer to the jaw bone) so that they can maintain the pockets around the tooth to stop the jaw bone from deteriorating and my teeth falling out. I now see a hygienist every 3-4 months to maintain the pockets.

Yes, it's not the most pleasant thing in the world and so people avoid it.

I think, for me, it came down to the dentist. I started going to this place a few years ago and my dentist was young, funky and cool. A country lass and so we got along really well. She swears when the messes something up or just because, and we generally have a good time which makes the process better. She went and had a baby this year so my new one, about the same age as the other, came along and she's cool too. South African as I said. Loves to fish and hunt and stuff so she prattles on about that as she works. She is very fastidious, probably more so than the other, but they are both really good. That has made my experiences better.

I don't like the sound of gum surgery and so am pleased I have looked after my teeth quite well...I don't need any additional dentist visits!

Thanks for commenting. :)


Yes, having had the same hygienist for over 20 years, before moving east made the quarterly visits less nerve wracking. I do not think I have had the same dentist on my yearly visits, probably why the dentist chair as opposed to the hygienist chair was more un-nerving.

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I have to go and get something taken care of. Bits started breaking off a few years ago. It hurt for a while, so I went to the dentist looking to get it pulled, but he didn't recommend it, and put a temporary filling in instead.
That lasted for 18 months, then fell apart and new chunks have been falling off pretty steadily since. Now it's all sheared off down to the gum line.
I was hoping the gum would close over it, but I have this 50:50 wasteland at the moment.
He did an X-ray last time, and said the relevant root is scraping up against the underside of my right eyeball; so there's a lot there to pull if that's what we end up doing. Happily it's right off to the side, so if it stays a gap, it's not obvious.

Ugh! I had a tooth pulled a couple years ago. It was a massive filling, right up the back left, and had sheered the tooth off. She went at it for 45 minutes and couldn't budge it. Stuck a rag in there to stop the blood and sent me walking across Hutt Street to the dental surgeon who had it out in ten minutes...Some of the worst minutes I've ever experienced. It was not pleasant at all.

I'd say avoid the removal at all costs but to be honest if it has to be done it's best it's done sooner than later. Good luck with it mate...Hopefully they don't have to use the cock-camera, that'll just add insult to injury. 😆

Cock-camera? You sure you're going to a licensed dentist?

I hope so...They took my health insurance card so I guess they must be legit.


Not good bro...Avoid at all costs! 😂

Have you ever had a good or bad experience at the dentist?

My mom is going with a full rehab with almost all teeth being repaired. We went to a doctor who is a Friend and then later realized, he is cheating by quoting very high price, now we are with a different doctor (from some good reference from family) who is reasonable. Long running process - all her root canal treatments done, waiting for the crowns.

I've never had a root canal done, it doesn't sound like something I want to have done either. It sounds expensive. Hopefully it all works out for your mother.

Long story short - They say, without root canal, putting a crown is not worth, isn't that the same there ?

Nah, a root canal is not necessary all the time. the crown just protects the integrity of the tooth and has no correlation to a root canal sometimes. It's all dependant upon the situation at hand and do not always have to happen together. It's not about location, here or there, it's about what's required for the tooth.

Ahhahhahah, this made me laugh but also tremble with fear as I have a crown in waiting - I think I might wait a little longer.

Yeek, I have the proper fear now!

Lol...Be afraid...Especially of the cock-camera.

Hahahha hilarious. Nobody likes the dentist G. Nobody. We all go there because of the pain. I have found one dentist who has such a good hand that I almost fell asleep having a nerve extraction. That was amazing. I only go to male dentists since one girl did a terrible job with a crown. I like post dentist smell. Ahh clean and sanitized😂👑

Yeah I used to hate the dentist, but that's probably more of a reflection on the individual dentist than the profession. These days, whilst I wouldn't say I like it, I go and do what's required as the alternative is to go toothless which wouldn't be a good look for me. People could call me gummy-dog.

Gummy dog sounds cute lol😂

I'm not comfortable with anybody that is legally allowed to hold sharp objects or robotic dicks around my face. I think there should be a trauma consultant outside every dentists' office

I'm not comfortable with anybody that is legally allowed to hold sharp objects or robotic dicks around my face. I think there should be a trauma consultant outside every dentists' office