Stopping 4 Some Sweets!

Every January, the family heads out west a bit towards the Pittsburgh area for a late Christmas with the wife’s family. It’s a trip we all look forward to as we don’t get to see her family super often. This year we switched it up a bit and brought our beautiful pup Maya! That was such a blast and I’ll pop up a story with some lovely photos shortly, but right now I want to cover one of the regular stops we always hit before heading back home. I’m talking about Saris Candies!!!

Saris is located in Canonsburg, Pennsylvania...on the outskirts of Pittsburgh. I was first introduced to it on my first trek out here by my lovely wife and it’s been a staple to hit ever since.

This is no ordinary candy shop. For starters...it’s huge. This place is no friggin joke. You can see it from the nearby highway and can practically smell and taste the deliciousness as you pull up.

As you enter the joint, you’ll see the counters and glass display cases of the hundreds of freshly homemade chocolates and candies that they have to offer. The employees are super friendly and will even let you try a couple of samples for those indecisive fuckheads such as myself.

I’m kinda a plain Jane when it comes to candies so I usually just stick with the milk chocolate melt always which are boner inducing, along with some vanilla creams & butter creams. This time however, I kinda went a little nutty. I asked for a sample of the milk chocolate melt away...not because I was unsure but because I’m a slob and was just craving the smidgen of heaven. Where shit got weird for me was when I asked to sample the raspberry cream. It rocked my god damned world and I immediately had to add a handful of those fuckers added to my every growing slob stash I was creating. “Uhhh...5 of those please”, I think I uttered pointing to all the flavors I mentioned.

I think I spent nearly 25 bucks on my own personal box. Not a family box...but one that I told the wife and kids to back the fuck off from. I think I even told the kids I’d kill them if they touched it. Pussies didn’t even try to sneak one...they know what’s up.

Shit...the only reason I’m even choosing to write this now is because I munched my last nugget of yum before and got super sad about it. These are the things that tug at my heartstrings now as I approach 40.

Anyway, we all made our boxes and threatened to murder each other if we touched another’s chocolate treasure. Our threats worked as all sweets were safe with their rightful slob.

To the one side of the main door is another area with all packaged treats. These are perfect for gifts. Want a chocolate bar of a PlayStation controller for your loser kid who doesn’t leave the basement unless it’s for throwing some Pizza Rolls in the oven?!? They got that shit and tons of other personalized treats.

Throughout the shop there are cool displays featuring stuffed animals, flowers, balloons, and yes...chocolate.

There’s a tremendous section for Jelly Beans. This is where my boy hovered as he filled his bag with a plethora of flavors. Jelly Beans are the absolute last thing I’d choose at a candy store. Shits weak...

There were vintage candies sections that reminded me of when I was a kid. I even bought a pack of those candy cigarettes. Remember those?!? Just shitty white chalky sticks of sugar. They used to have a red tip to pretend it’s a lit stogie. Mine weren’t red. Wonder if they had to change that under some stupid law or something. I will say...not as good as I remembered them being. My wife tried one and said it tasted like old stale dried out cake icing. I think she nailed it.

Lastly, after we stocked up on what looks like enough chocolate for an army (it lasted days), we decided to shorten our lives a bit more by filling up with a fucking bucket of ice cream at their creamery. That’s right!!! Attached to the candy shop is an old school ice cream parlor. It even has a pretty cool piano that plays tunes for a buck. The kids were irritated as I guess it’s a new piano machine and this one’s keys do not go down while the tune plays as the old one did. What ungrateful unimpressed little assholes...I should eat their chocolate...

I wish I had pics of this part but I think I was too busy...um...oh, being a tremendously sloppy asshole as I scarfed down my “medium” hot fudge sundae. This thing was enormous and contains enough sugar to make Wilfred Brimley’s lose a foot just by looking at it.

Shit...no chocolates left. Think I’ll go slurp on a bottle of Hershey Syrup to help get through the night. If interested in trying some of these delicious treats, pop on over to their site where they ship this shit out on the regular. https://www.sarriscandies.com/default.aspx

Thanks for taking a look with me. How many of you eat something sweet after this?

Blewitt