Survey Finding Israel Cheapest Country For Mobile Data Fails To Sway Dads To Pay For More

According to recent studies, just four American cents per gigabyte.

Ma'ale Gilboa, May 22 - A study published last week on the average per-user consumer price per gigabyte of data on smartphones and similar devices showed that Israelis pay less, in many cases far less, than people anywhere else in the world - information that so far has had negligible impact on male heads of households who still refuse to part with more of their hard-earned money, of which, young lady, may they remind you, they are not made, just so their children can squander more time on Instagram and TikTok instead of accomplishing something useful like when they were your age, adolescent sources reported today.

A survey of youth in this Jordan Valley community and around the country over the last several days pointed to multiple inquiries by teens of the parent in charge of expenditure management as to whether, in light of the comparative pittance that Israelis pay for mobile data usage on their devices - according to recent studies, just four American cents per gigabyte, contrasted with multiples of that figure even in well-developed Western nations - the family finances could handle a more liberal policy vis-à-vis the limits on data usage. The petitioners reported that the uniform response of the parental unit involved not only a decline of the request, but a repeat of familiar admonitions regarding the limited nature of cash flow, the need to live not in comparison with what others have, the satisfaction of appreciation what one has, and the value of pursuits not connected to a mobile device.

"Nope," reported Gali Meitar, 16, of Kibbutz Nir David. "He didn't bite. We're going to need a more compelling argument."

"Oof, I thought we had it this time," lamented her younger sister Adi, 14. "It was backed up by robust data and everything! I'm beginning to think he'd say no even if we found a truckful of money."

Anecdotal evidence appears to support Adi Meitar's contention. Rumors of Israeli scientists successfully growing a money tree several years ago gave rise to similar inquiries on the part of youth, under the erroneous assumption that their fathers' opposition to greater expenditures - couched in the rhetorical terms of perennial wooden plants not producing money - could be overcome by evidence contrary to the rhetoric.

A similar case occurred in the Artificial Intelligence realm this week when a user instructed the system to respond as if it were a dad made of money - it still insisted it was not made of money, and that you must go clean that pigsty of yours that you call a room.

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