Lawsuit or Forgiveness?: Learning to Let Go

At this point in our lives, it’s with no doubt that everyone one of us has been through the educational system. From crèche to kindergarten to primary school, high school, and even college or university. From your experience in school , you’d all agree with me that teaching is hard.

We all know the stress some of us put our teachers through. How they always made sure to keep us in our toes and even punish us when necessary. If you ask me, teaching has to be the most tedious job ever. You have to be there to understand.😅

Before completing the university, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do but I for sure knew I wanted to keep learning. For most people, they complete university and end up on offices doing nothing during their service period. I on the other hand didn’t want to spend one whole year sitting in an office watching movies. I didn’t want to look back only to realize I wasted the year away. And so, when someone spoke to me about being a teaching assistant on our main campus I was totally going in for it. It wasn’t an easy process because there was so much going on with me but I managed to secure a slot as a teaching assistant.

You know how everyone is talking about women empowerment and all of that. Yes, it’s good and I totally support it. But I feel no one talks about how women in academia go through a lot. Aside the fact that sometimes the men in your field always try to look big in-front of you , we also have the issue of our male students. Using myself as an example, I don’t look my age. I’m not that big and so once you see me, you’d think I’m even in level 100.

When I first started my job as a teaching assistant, I would walk into a class to tutor and some of my students would even look way older than me. I didn’t really care because at that moment, you are the student and I’m the teacher and so I’d make sure to keep you in check. That doesn’t mean I have to be rude to them and all because I also learn from them. It’s more like I make sure to create a safe space for everyone to share their ideas and I think that’s what these students enjoy. So far , I don’t think I’ve had any issues with my students during tutoring or lab sessions aside the fact that they stress me out a lot. You know how students can me.

Not to forget, I don’t mean to brag but as a young beautiful lady like me, I know that some of my students and even colleagues at work would be crushing on me.😂 But it’s up to me to set those boundaries or not and I make sure to set them very high. I actually don’t entertain any kind of talks with my students and colleagues. It’s all about school and work. No personal business or whatever.

But then, there always seems to be that one person that makes you feel the world is a bad place. So, some months back, some students in third year had a mid block test to write. This class was actually the mature class and so we all expected them to comport themselves. The test was to last for 30 minutes and so we started handing out the test papers and all of that. We started the test and it wasn’t even a minute into the test, these people started talking.

After a few warnings, we started to take the questions and answer booklets from anyone caught talking. That was the only way we got them to be quiet. 25 minutes into the test, they started to talk again. We then started taking their sheets again since they didn’t want to be quiet. We were 3 people in charge of the test, two guys and myself. The students were about 100 so you can imagine.

It was time to stop work and so we ask them to arrange their papers for collection. We went round taking the papers. There were about three columns in the room so we each took one. I got to the end of my side and as usual, it was packed with so many guys. I started taking sheets and they were still trying to finish up. I finally took all their sheets but one guy asked to check if he wrote his index number. I gave him his sheet and he had written his index number and so I turned to leave. As I was walking, one of the guys started following me. The seats were a bit packed and so there wasn’t much space. I could feel him getting closer to me. More like trying to get too close to me from behind. I stopped and told him step back and asked him what he wanted. He then said he wanted to also check his sheet. I checked and his index number was there and so I told him and moved but then I still felt him trying to touch me from behind. So I stopped again and told him to respect himself if he didn’t want to have problems with the school cos this is harassment.

I left and as I approached my colleagues I told them what happened . They went out to look for the guy but he was nowhere to be found. I knew his face but I didn’t know his name. Actually I was going to go to the police station and report him for harassment because I surely know that he’s capable of harassing other ladies to out there. But then, later on I just decided to let it go because I knew that I would meet him during the block exams and we would confront him.

Honestly, that particular day, I was dressed in baggy clothes and so it wasn’t like I was showing skin or anything. I felt really scared because I had never had this kind of experience. I guess some men just don’t have self respect. It’s one thing to get what you want from a lady but it’s also another thing to harass your teacher.

Since that experience of mine, I make sure to be extra careful of these students because if someone was able to attempt something like this in public, who knows what would happen if they met you walking somewhere at night?

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all images belong to me.

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