Connecting Beyond Screens

Having to own a mobile phone is one of the best things that ever happened to humankind. I mean, even without saying it, we can all think of a thousand and one things we can do with our phones. It is no surprise that the convenience phones have provided has reached the point of sustaining connections with loved ones who are far out of reach. However, as much as the advantages are, we can also think of the subtle cons of having a mobile device creep into almost every aspect of our lives.

Particularly with connections, phones have helped keep relationships together when distance is a barrier. But what about when distance is not a barrier? What about when we are all together under the same roof? Do we also let that screen time be a barrier to our normal interactions? For the context of this prompt, do we need to ban the use of phones when it is family time, or is that doing too much?

I did not realize how much of a problem it had become until I went to stay with my cousins last holiday. Prior to the stay, we were on our WhatsApp group whining about how much we had missed each other and how we could not wait to finally be together. One might even conclude that we would not use our phones much considering how invested everyone was in wanting to meet. When we finally met physically, it was all hugs and screams of excitement until it was not. Two hours later, everyone was back on their phones.

I am talking about seven cousins sitting in the same space, yet the only sounds were football highlights from the boys phones. The girls were on TikTok, indulging themselves in one challenge or another. Others were either dropping voice notes or listening to one. I was not excluded myself. I remember trying to get a video of all of us together, and that was when I noticed that the only attention my cousins were paying was to their phones. That was when I called them out, and everyone adjusted.

We made a rule right there that we would make sure to keep our screen time minimal when we were together. Minimal because most of us had our work online and had to keep our devices close. One of my cousins is a nurse who works as a caregiver, which meant she had to check her emails constantly and her phone rang the most. Regardless, we all agreed to use our phones less, especially when it was time to share a meal.

Making a rule that only allows restricted use of devices during family time is not that bad if everyone is intentional and considerate. Especially during meal moments, because for most families, it is the only time everyone can actually sit around a table and do one thing together. I do not think those few minutes, ten to twenty or even more, would hurt anyone. Granted, one might still check if an incoming text is important enough to respond to immediately, but not so much that it ruins the moment of connection. Personally, I love watching a movie while eating because I do not always eat with anyone, and I know I am not the only one. However, I try not to make that the case when I eat with other people. It is all in the flexibility.

Maybe our devices are not the bigger problem. It is the way we use them. We should not let them disconnect us when we are within reach of one another. If we are able to instill discipline, it will be for our own good. However, if it takes banning or restricting phone usage during certain moments to help our families live in the present and talk more, then what should be done should be done.
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