Sometimes I suffer existentially
It's been 2 days since I read Gulag Archipelago by Alexander Solzhenitsyn. It is a really gory book, at least that is what Dr. Jordan Peterson said. Listening to the audiobook and not getting spooked out has me feeling that there might be something wrong with me.
The main thing that's more important to me is the fact that I have side projects in my life. I have a few principles I have been following that help make this easy for me while living within the hospital premises:
- I will not go to work late
- I will do all my duties in the best quality I can provide
- I will do my extracurriculars- go to the gym, catch up with loved ones, work on mini projects, and take care of myself.
It's regarding the 3rd point I've had to write down this post. I suffer, like go through pain when I don't live my life with a direction.
I remember earlier in the month I would come back from work and just go straight to bed with my phone. Besides the fact that I know that I have many projects that I need to be working on, my laundry quickly starts to pile up.
Earlier this month too I had to deal with the pain of not meeting any targets whatsoever. Before I changed course I was hoping to go to the US and practice as a doctor after writing the appropriate exams. It took some time but I realized that I was chasing someone else's dreams and not mine.
Now I am working on multiple projects while working extra jobs so that I can not feel like I am not doing everything I can and not feel like I am in a hole I dug up for myself.
I just want to be at peace with myself.
Really, I love the way you end your story. It's a good thing to be at peace with yourself. And getting the fact that you've been chasing another man's dream is a plus. Getting to know this on time has helped you to focus on something that makes you feel important to yourself and others. I respect you for that.
You can check freecompliments community, (A community created specifically for giving out free compliments Make yourself and others feel good. Anything goes). One love.
Thank you, I'm glad things are playing out the way they are. I'm happy about the person I'm becoming. Its a slow process but slow is good sometimes
Sometimes we are so busy fulfilling other people's dreams that we forget about ourselves. When you realize it, that abyss opens under your feet. It is where you are now, at that moment when you are aware that you are the one who must direct your life. And, although now I know how much it hurts, that's good.
You are growing within yourself and when you gather the strength to go wherever you want, that peace with yourself will no longer leave you.
I'm glad you've expressed yourself, I'm also relieved to write. It is part of the process to live better. Feel free to mention me if you need support, I am good at listening with respect and without judging. A hug.
Thank you very much. I know things take time to show but...I'm in a place and at a rhythm where I don't mind how long it takes
I understand the pain you mention… you want to do all the best you can in the highest quality. Keep yourself busy at all times… I did the same for a longggg time.
We are sometimes our harshest critic. If you do all of that, you can for sure be proud of yourself.
Even though you don’t feel at peace with yourself sometimes.
But… Let the washing pile up for once if you need to have some off time. It’s ok too.
Try to find your rhythm… when you need some time for yourself and when you want to be extra busy with side projects.
I hope you find your balance…
It’s good you write this up for yourself. It helps too in many ways. If you ever wants to talk, let me know.
There are people here that are happy to help and listen 😊
!HUG
I sent 1.0 HUG on behalf of @littlebee4.
(1/3)
Thank you very much. And you are right, writing all this helps
You are welcome 😊
Keep writing… it helps 🤗 !LUV
@ebingo, @littlebee4(4/5) sent LUV. | connect | community | HiveWiki | NFT | <>< daily
! help(no space) to get help on Hive. InfoWe need to reward ourself for doing a good job.. and sometimes we need to make the chores pile up so we actually have an adequate amount for the washing machine.
Not everything that is negative is bad, however if you think everything bad is negative then you have a bigger struggle.
We don't hear all of encouragement. Here's some.
Congratulations on being able to be better!
Congratulations on being able to help others.
Congratulations to you for these achievements you earned... Great job!
Thank you! I'll try to take it one day at a time. I'm getting better at finding myself whenever I'm lost.
Absolutely and if you keep finding yourself it's harder to lose yourself.
Have an amazing day today!
It’s good to work on different things, it keeps the mind engaged and doesn’t allow it to squander. It’s important though to take time to rest! If we are rested then we can dedicate the time to these things and progress forward.
I've been resting for some time. I just have to learn not to get too worked up about the process of resting. I often feel like it's a waste of time...It's a bad habit I tend to develop immediately after resting.