Addressing Conflict Within Groups: The Importance of Collaboration and Avoidance
People illustrations by Storyset
How do you react to conflict within your group? Do you avoid the issues as they arise, or do you try to win the situation and make the other side see your point by any means necessary? Some people have a tendency to give in to the demands of the other person so there can be peace or find a middle ground.
People in a group may also try to work together to find a creative solution that meets everyone's needs and interests. This is a very difficult process that requires open communication, empathy, and a willingness to explore multiple options. The process can take a lot of time and is a big challenge for those involved.
Imagine trying to have a conversation with someone where you have to walk on eggshells for the greater good. Maybe eventually, you might not.
Sometimes avoidance might be the right option, but you have to know when it is the right option and when it will lead to worse interactions.
Just yesterday, I didn't have the energy to explain myself to a non-English speaking (Yoruba) driver who was angry at me for a misunderstanding I and someone else had that wasted his time a little. So instead of going through the long route of explaining myself, which would start from explaining that I don't speak Yoruba, I just sat there until the 5-minute ride was over.
At the same time yesterday, I had to go in-depth with a housemate about why the kitchen top got dirty and her irritation towards it. I didn't want her to be offended by my behavior, but I also wanted to know the exact reason she felt uncomfortable.
The behavior you portray during a conflict can encourage good relations or destroy the relationship that exists between the parties.
Avoidance
People illustrations by Storyset
Avoidance is the instinctual thing to do when conflict arises. It is often preferable to just avoid a conflict altogether, keep the peace, and reduce tension. The problem arises when you have to interact with a person over a long period of time.
Avoidance builds resentment and frustration among the members of a group.
Problems lead to arguments and soon people fight
is a concept that Jordan Peterson has talked about so often. He refers to these problems as the dragon growing in the house.
The problems, when they are not addressed as soon as possible, will escalate and become more complex. Later on, they will become harder to solve. When the problem is avoided, it might be seen as a lack of interest in the issue or the person involved. This could mean a few things, one of which is that the person avoiding the problem is not committed to the group or the common goal.
By avoiding conflict in a group, the group does not learn how to deal with conflicts should they arise again. Conflicts are an opportunity to learn about each other's perspectives, values, and goals.
Not having conflict is the best way to skip past people's values and not learn from each other.
Some forms of conflict require a mediator's assistance or intervention, and in such cases, it would be beneficial for the group to break from the conflict and revisit it later when emotions have settled and new perspectives have emerged.
Collaboration
People illustrations by Storyset
In group conflicts, collaboration can be very powerful. Collaboration means that the parties involved work together with each other to reach a common goal. It can be an important way to resolve conflict because it allows for multiple ideas and points of view.
This way, the members of the group tend to trust one another and respect each other. When everyone works together to reach a common goal, they appreciate each other's strengths and abilities. This leads to people seeing the ways they can support each other.
By fostering a sense of collaboration, group members can begin to see each other as partners rather than adversaries, which can help to de-escalate conflicts and reduce tensions.
The members of the group can have mutual understanding and empathy for one another because they are working on achieving a common goal. They have to listen to each other and hear everyone's side of the story and point of view.
The problem with collaboration is that it is difficult to have people function this way. Like I said, our natural set point is to avoid conflict. Most times, people are not ready to take the long road of listening to others and hearing other perspectives.
This is where active listening comes in and sometimes a group mediator.
Do you have longstanding issues in your group (family, friends, or coworkers) that need to be addressed?
You can send me a message on WhatsApp at +2348134530293, and we can have a conversation, or you can speak with a licensed therapist.
Conclusion
In conclusion, conflict is a natural part of any group dynamic, whether it be in families, friendships, or workplaces. While avoidance may seem like the easy way out, it can lead to built-up resentment and frustration. Collaboration, on the other hand, can be a powerful tool to resolve conflicts and build trust within the group. However, it can be a difficult process that requires open communication, empathy, and a willingness to explore multiple options.
It is important to recognize when a mediator may be necessary to assist in resolving conflicts. Ultimately, addressing conflicts within a group can lead to a better understanding of each other's perspectives, values, and goals, and foster stronger relationships within the group. If you have longstanding issues within your group that need to be addressed, it is important to take the time to address them in a constructive and respectful manner.
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