See you in hell

There's no turning back once you leave the old method of buying airtime from vendors to buy directly from your bank. This thing works more powerfully than masturbation or an alcoholic addiction. It's so enticing that I've concluded that these banks have cast a spell on their channels to magnetize anyone on their very first purchase.

I can't remember the last time I took my naira notes to a shop and asked for a paper recharge card. I tried to recollect the last time I did that, and I found myself back in the 1990s.

People who still buy airtime from vendors deserve a special place in heaven, as they're the true individuals not allowing technology to control them. In case you don't know, a woman who once went to heaven and came back brought the message that anyone being controlled by technology is headed straight to hell. Well, I'm not bothered; as long as 99.8% of people on earth are making hell, we'll survive.

I have friends who understand this addiction, and they're still trying to resist it till today. They've made up their minds not to fall into the temptation of being permanently locked in such a cage of quick and endless purchase of airtime from bank.
So, some of them have decided not to have anything like bank apps on their phones or link their phone numbers to bank USSD.

It baffles me a lot how they're surviving, especially when their airtime or data runs out in the middle of the night and there's no shop or vendor available to sell to them.

I have one friend who often comes to me to buy airtime, even though I'm not a vendor. He would beg me and say, where he buys without charges is a bit far, and he can't walk there at that moment because he's tired or hungry.

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For non-Nigerians reading this: Buying airtime from a vendor attracts some charges, depending on the vendor, while buying from a bank comes with no charges. Some banks even give cash back.

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One evening, while I was trying to fix my mosquito net so I could sleep, my neighbor knocked at my door. I went to open it, and as soon as I did, he said, "Hey, please help me one more time. The place where I used to buy airtime without charges has already closed, and I need this airtime for a data subscription."

I had told him that I wasn't going to sell airtime again because I'm not a vendor. I was only helping him out of pity, and I wasn't benefiting from it.....I wish he were a lady.

"Bro, get a bank app or link your number to bank USSD and save yourself from this regular stress," I said to him.

"I've told you before that I can't do it. Once I link my number to it, I won't be able to save again. I'll use everything on airtime and data," he said pitifully.

"So, I'm the one who has the money to convert into airtime, right?" I pulled off a good act by slamming the door in front of him. He should go and get airtime from somewhere else.

He stayed there at the door for a few minutes and then came in to meet me, lying inside my mosquito net.

"Okay, come and link my phone number to USSD so I can buy from my bank account."

Immediately after I heard this from him, I rushed out of bed and quickly linked his phone because he doesn't know how to do that. We bought the airtime, and I was so happy. I finally initiated him, and if there's ever going to be a referral bonus for such in hell, that's going to help me settle some bills when we get there.

Thank You!